Guns, Knives, and the Hinata
by Sano-kun
Summary: What happens when Granny Hina sends Keitaro a new assitant? Mass insanity of course.On Haiatus
1. Gunnar Arrives

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 1: Gunnar Arrives  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
A.N.-Takes place after volume three.  
  
Upon first glance most people would see nothing but a nerd when they saw Keitaro Urashima. He had messy black hair, black rimmed glasses, and he usually would obsess over photo booths. But they would sometimes rethink their thoughts to know that this particular young man was the manager of an all-girls dorm in the city at an old hotel called the Hinata Inn. Yet the same people would go back to rethinking after they saw Keitaro sailing over the city or reaching low Earth orbit. Upon all of these happenings, Keitaro was wishing for another guy to help him out at the Hinata and take some of the harassment also from the tenants. Little did Keitaro know that his wish was about to come true. A week later in Hinata a young man was walking along before he stopped and grumbled in annoyance. The young man had dark brown skin, a bald fade, and he had blue eyes, which were rare for black people to have. The young man was carrying a large forest green duffel bag, and he was wearing a pair of baggy navy jeans, an oversized gray t-shirt, scuffed up black sneakers, a pair of small rectangular glasses, and rosary beads around his neck. The young man then proceeded to take a letter out of his back pocket when a yell followed by a loud crash caught his attention.   
  
"Un-huh, glasses, messy black hair...got the shit beat outta him, this has to be the guy." Said the blue-eyed guy.  
  
"Why won't they listen when I say it's an accident?" Moaned a messy black haired young man wearing a pair of blue shorts, tan sandals, and black rimmed glasses.  
  
"Hey dude are you Keitaro Urashima?"   
  
"Yeah, who are you?" Questioned Keitaro.  
  
"I'm Gunnar Smith and your new assistant manager at the Hinata Inn." Grinned Gunnar as he rubbed the bridge of his nose as he pulled Keitaro up.  
  
"Huh, I don't know."  
  
"Your granma told me to help you out...well more like my parents forced me and while your granma suggested the idea." Grumbled Gunnar as he handed Keitaro another letter which he pulled from his front pocket.  
  
".... So Granny wants you to be the new assistant manager. That should be okay by me but.... the girls wouldn't take this to lightly."  
  
"Feh, what can a girl do?"  
  
"Perhaps you didn't notice me falling from the stratosphere?"  
  
"Whatever man there has never been anyone that could scare me."  
  
"You'd be surprised."  
  
"Alright Keitaro lets go…but before we go your fly's down dude."  
  
"Oh." Muttered Keitaro as he quickly zipped himself up and walked off with Gunnar.  
  
The two got to know one another better while they trekked their way to the Hinata Inn. They also discovered that they had some things in common such as they both liked to take photo booth pictures, they embarrass easily, and that they both have some degree of bad luck. After walking a good twelve blocks they came finally came to a giant stone staircase and went up them. Once they reached the top Gunnar began to let out a string of curses involving huge sets of stairs and the need for an escalator. After Gunnar stopped his cursing triad, Keitaro led the young man into the Hinata Inn where he could only whistle in awe.  
  
"This place looks better than how your granma told me." Said Gunnar as he dropped his bag and took off his shoes.  
  
"I know, hey Gunnar could you wait for a moment while I go get something real quickly?" Said Keitaro.  
  
"As long as I don't see anything that catches my attention then yeah."  
  
"Alright."  
  
"What's this.... hot springs this way? Whoo-hoo!" Cheered Gunnar as he read a sign, which was set up behind where Keitaro was standing.  
  
Unbeknownst to Gunnar, the young man was about to get himself in a world of trouble. After going down a long hallway he came to an open-air hot spring. Unable to contain his excitement Gunnar quickly stripped himself and jumped into the water. After he surfaced he leaned against a boulder and started to close his eyes, but not before a fully nude and curvy woman with narrow eyes, and short blonde hair walked in front of him while carrying a bottle of hard liquor. Gunnar stayed absolutely quite hoping the woman didn't notice him, but things didn't go as he planned as the woman sauntered up to him and wrapped her arms around him.  
  
"Hiya." Slurred the woman drunkly.  
  
"Hi."   
  
"Ya know fer bein a woman you have some nice muscles."  
  
"Thanks.... I think."  
  
"My names Kitsune what's yers?" Smiled Kitsune lazily as she pressed her body firmly against Gunnar's.  
  
"I'm Gunnar." Blushed Gunnar as a certain part of his anatomy started to make its presence felt.  
  
"Nice to meet ya Gunnar. Hey do you have a cucumber on you?"  
  
"You could say that."   
  
"What the...more male scum. Prepare yourself for death!" Said a girl with long black hair, dark brown eyes, wrapped up in a white towel whom was pointing a long katana at Gunnar.  
  
"Wait crazy lady this isn't what it looks like!"  
  
"Save that excuse for the afterlife!" Snarled the girl as she leapt at Gunnar with an overhead attack.  
  
"Bullshit!" Huffed Gunnar as he dodged the attack while holding Kitsune.  
  
"Heya Motoko this is Gunnar and she has a cucumber." Said Kitsune before she passed out.  
  
"Damn you're wasted." Said both Gunnar and Motoko in disbelief before they turned their attention back to each other.  
  
"Let her go!"  
  
"Fine she's down, can't we talk this out?"  
  
"Never."  
  
"Aww damn." Moaned Gunnar as he ran off with Motoko chasing him.  
  
"Come back here I demand your manhood!"  
  
"Like hell your gonna get it." Yelled Gunnar as he ran around while tossing his clothes back on.  
  
"Impertinent ass!"  
  
"Menstrual trippin woman!"  
  
"Weak man."  
  
"Says the one with the sword!"  
  
"ATOMIC NARU PUNCH!" Was all that Gunnar could hear before darkness overcame him.  
  
When Gunnar woke up he found himself hanging from tied up and hanging from a rafter. He then looked to see Keitaro, Kitsune whom was up and wearing a tight black top and blue jeans, then Motoko whom was dressed as if she was a shrine maiden, a blue haired girl with blue eyes wearing a traditional Japanese school girl uniform, another girl wearing the exact same thing as the girl with the blue hair except her skin tone was like Gunnar's and she had blonde hair and green eyes and two pink oval blush marks on her cheeks, and lastly a young woman with long brown hair with two cowlicks, a yellow sweater and a pink skirt glaring at him.  
  
"Hey Gunnar." Said Keitaro.  
  
"How long was I out?" Said Gunnar.  
  
"About six and a half hours."  
  
"Damn...so am I gonna die or lose my manhood?"  
  
"You're not going to lose your manhood or die." Said Motoko sternly.  
  
"Thank the lord." Sighed Gunnar.  
  
"But we have some questions for you."  
  
"And why would you tie me up?"  
  
"That was my idea sexy." Winked Kitsune.  
  
"Oh you." Said Gunnar as he glared at Kitsune.  
  
"What is that a way to talk back to me?"  
  
"You thought I was a girl!"  
  
"Well I WAS drunk. Besides once we're through with your interrogation...I got a few things I'd like to use your cucumber for."  
  
"Not now Kitsune, you're giving both of the perverts ideas." Said the girl with the two cowlicks.  
  
"I was just teasing him Naru."  
  
"Maybe we should just let him down, I'm sure it was just a accident like Keitaro-sempai said." Said the blue haired girl.  
  
"Finally someone on my side besides Keitaro." Said Gunnar.  
  
"Shinobuu you can never trust a man." Said Motoko.  
  
"But what about Keitaro?" Said the blonde haired girl.  
  
"He isn't a man Suu."  
  
"That's jacked." Said Gunnar in Keitaro's defense.  
  
"Shut it, now let's get down to the questions, Naru if you would start." Said Motoko.  
  
"Okay what's your full name?" Inquired Naru.  
  
"Gunnar Geist Smith."  
  
"Age?"  
  
"Nineteen."  
  
"Why are you here?"   
  
"Because Keitaro's granma and my parents wanted me to come here and help him out."  
  
"Do you have any proof of this?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Can we see this proof?"  
  
"Gee I could get it outta my back pocket but if you haven't noticed I'm tied up!"  
  
"Fine Motoko get him down."  
  
"Gladly." Grinned Motoko evilly as she sliced Gunnar's bonds and caused him to fall ungracefully on his face.  
  
"Crazy ass women." Said Gunnar under his breath as he took the letter from his back pocket and gave it to Naru.  
  
"It's from Granny Hina alright." Said Kitsune.  
  
"Unbelievable." Said Naru.  
  
"I won't except him unless he beats me in a duel." Said Motoko.  
  
"Fine by me, attack when you want to." Said Gunnar as he went rummaging through his duffel bag.  
  
"Fool." Said Motoko before a gunshot went off and her sword was knocked out of her hands.  
  
"Looks like I won." Grinned Gunnar as he blew the gun smoke from a Desert Eagle. 


	2. Embarassing the Newbie

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 2: Embarrassing the Newbie  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
After basking in the defeat of Motoko, Gunnar was led to his room by Keitaro. Once he reached his room, he thanked Keitaro and promptly fell asleep. During this time period the women of the Hinata Inn were discussing on how to deal with their new assistant manager.  
  
"So does anyone have any ideas?" Asked Naru as she and the other girls were seated around a table.  
  
"We could play with him." Said Suu.  
  
"I don't think a little girl like you should be playing with gun wielding, well...." Said Kitsune lustily before Naru's hands covered her mouth.   
  
"Kitsune!" Shouted Naru.  
  
"Sorry just rambling on."  
  
"I say we kick him out." Said Motoko.  
  
"But he beat you in the duel." Said Kitsune.  
  
"He cheated."  
  
"Only because he's a good shot with a gun?" Questioned Suu.  
  
"No."  
  
"Then why?"  
  
"We don't need another man."  
  
"But I think he could be a big help to Keitaro-sempai." Said Shinobuu.  
  
"Just think of how much could get done around here with two guys." Said Kitsune.  
  
"And how much more money you can con?" Said Motoko as crossly.  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Kitsune makes a good point." Said Naru.  
  
"She does?"  
  
"Of course I do, so what do you have in mind Naru?" Said Kitsune.  
  
"Just go on as if he's another Keitaro."  
  
The next day Gunnar finally awoke happily to the sound of chirping birds and clear blue skies. The young man soaked in all the serenity of the morning. Gunnar went through his bag and took out his toiletries and went to the bathroom to freshen up when he passed by Keitaro whom was going the same way.  
  
"Morning' Keitaro." Smiled Gunnar as he patted Keitaro on the back.  
  
"Morning Gunnar." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Ahh tis a fine day is it not brother?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Never watched 'A Clockwork Orange'?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You should it's pretty cool."  
  
"Later on man but you can go ahead and go take your bath first."  
  
"Naw man you own the place you go first."  
  
"I insist."  
  
"Fine I'll go."  
  
"Hey Keitaro." Winked Kitsune whom was wearing a pale blue robe as she stepped into Keitaro's view after Gunnar went into the bathroom.  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"We're executing Operation: Embarrass Gunnar!" Cheered Suu as she bounced around the hallway.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He deserves it." Beamed Suu.  
  
"It's all my idea and he just seems so cute to embarrass." Said Kitsune.  
  
"Kitsune don't do it I think Gunnar's accustomed to you all yet." Said Keitaro.  
  
"But didn't Naru knock him out?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Then that rests my case." Said Kitsune as she silently slipped into the bathroom.  
  
"What case?" Thought Keitaro to himself.  
  
In the bathroom Gunnar was inside a giant wooden barrel filled to the brim with hot and steamy water and leaning resting his back against the edge of the barrel. At the time being the young man was thinking about his family until his thoughts became flooded with visions of the first female tenant he met in various provocative poses and doing various actions with him. Needless to say Gunnar snapped out of his revere and plugged his nose full of tissue as he felt blood start to run from it.   
  
"Damn perverted mind of mine." Said Gunnar as he rolled his eyes.  
  
"I couldn't have said any better myself." Said Kitsune silkily.  
  
"Kitsune?!"  
  
"Hey Gunnar I've come to apologize since we got off on the wrong foot."  
  
"Couldn't you have done that when I was out of the tub?"  
  
"But I really wanted to make it up to you." Said Kitsune sadly as she removed her robe and got into the barrel with Gunnar.  
  
"K-K-Kitsune what are you doing?"  
  
"Why don't you let a older woman like me teach you a few things." Purred Kitsune as she rubbed Gunnar's back.  
  
"Ermm, ya know what I gotta go and..unpack! Yes I got to go and unpack, later." Said Gunnar as he scrambled out of the barrel and tossed a robe on himself before running out.  
  
"Well he's no fun."  
  
While running towards his own room Gunnar's thoughts were all focused on Kitsune until he was knocked upside the head by a flying object. As regained his composure, Gunnar looked around to see what hit him when he thought he heard a kitten calling but instead saw a tiny little turtle looking up at him. Gunnar bent down and lifted the tiny turtle which cocked its head to the side and looked at him before Suu came flying down the hallway and kicked him in the head.  
  
"You're slow Gunnar." Smiled Suu as she ran around Gunnar.  
  
"What was that for?!" Yelled Gunnar as he flailed his arms around.  
  
"I was just playing."  
  
"Myuu." Said the turtle as it flew around Gunnar.  
  
"Seems as if you already met Tama-chan."  
  
"So that's the turtle's name...why is it going for my belt?" Said Gunnar as he noticed the turtle biting at his robe's belt.  
  
"Myuu!" Squealed Tama-chan as she tugged Gunnar's robe off and flew away.  
  
"The hell?" Said the startled young man before a small draft hinted that he was naked.  
  
"Smile Gunnar!" Grinned Suu as she pulled out a camera and took a picture.  
  
"GAHHHH!"  
  
"What's all that screaming fo..." Said Shinobuu as she walked into the scene and stood gawk eyed.  
  
"So did you finally...wow." Whispered Motoko as she too walked in and came down with the same expression as Shinobuu.  
  
"I'll just be in my room." Said Gunnar meekly as he crossed his legs and shuffled himself into his room.  
  
"It was so..." Started Suu before Motoko interrupted her.  
  
"Don't even say it."  
  
Later on that day, Keitaro was on the roof of the Inn fixing a hole in the roof, which was made by him earlier after he got a good peek at Naru's new lingerie. Sighing the young man continued to nail another roof tile place when he saw Gunnar poke his head over the roof, glance around suspiciously and then come running up to him in the same outfit he wore the day before. Before Keitaro could say anything, Gunnar covered his mouth as the young man motioned for him to look down behind him. Keitaro did as he was instructed and saw Suu and Kitsune looking up at them with a video camera in hand. The two boys nodded to each other and ran into the attic where they began to talk to one another.  
  
"What was that for?" Questioned Keitaro.  
  
"Those women are really starting to freak me out." Said Gunnar.  
  
"How?"  
  
"Well for one Kitsune's acting like she's in heat, and then Suu is running around taking pictures of me when I'm naked."  
  
"Kitsune's not in heat Gunnar, she's like that naturally and Suu...that's just her being herself."  
  
"Then they should be kept far away."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I heard about why you're constantly getting creamed from you're granma and I'm trying to keep myself from ending up like you!"  
  
"What are you two doing up here?" Questioned Naru as she walked up the stairs.  
  
"Nothing Naru." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Good, for a moment I thought that you two perverts were planning something."  
  
"We're not perverts, just normal young men with a healthy sexual appetite." Said Gunnar in his and Keitaro's defense.  
  
"Like I said perverts."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"Need anything?" Said Keitaro trying to stop the two from arguing.  
  
"Yeah dinner is about ready so you two need to come downstairs now."  
  
"Got it...GHAAAAAH!" Said Keitaro as he tripped and pulled Gunnar and Naru down with him.  
  
"Ohh this is kinky." Whistled Suu as she popped up from the stairwell while filming Naru whom was sandwiched in between Gunnar and Keitaro in a way that you would see in a hardcore pornographic movie.  
  
"I'm so sorry Naru it was an accident." Said Keitaro as he removed himself from Naru alongside Gunnar.  
  
"Yeah it was." Said Gunnar.  
  
"Damn you both...DOUBLE NARU ATOMIC PUNCH!!" Growled Naru.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~" Shouted both Keitaro and Gunnar as the were launched into low Earth orbit.  
  
"Wow I think they're gonna orbit the Earth at least three times before they come back." Said Suu.  
  
"Now I feel better, hey Suu let's go and eat dinner okay?" Said Naru.  
  
"Yay." 


	3. Laundry Duty

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 3: Laundry Duty  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar. Nor do I own the song Stitches, which is owned by the coolest band in the world Orgy!  
  
Four weeks had passed since Gunnar had moved into the Hinata Inn and filled in the position as assistant manager. The young man was doing a decent job while working alongside Keitaro. All the while dodging various attempts on his well being from Suu, Motoko, and Naru. And failing worse than a colorblind person doing a color test. At the meantime, Gunnar was in his room sorting various piles of laundry while trying to determined if it was clean or dirty while listing to Candyass by Orgy at full blast on his stereo system at 6:30 in the morning. As could be expected the other residents weren't too happy about this.  
  
"Tying yourself to me stitch up my emptiness. Cause you're the death of me so precious, loving the thrill." Sang Gunnar as he bobbed is head unaware of Naru stalking up on him.  
  
"Gunnar?" Said Naru as she received no reaction from the teen.  
  
"Such the patient one who needs me, the spoiled one who wins. So shocking where's yours sense don't you know I hate you so, unsatisfied you little girl. Tying yourself to me stitch up my emptiness. Cause you're the death of me so precious, loving the thrill."  
  
"GUNNAR!!" Yelled Naru as Gunnar finally responded as he jumped up.  
  
"What the hell crawled up your ass?"  
  
"Would you care to explain why you are blasting rock music at this time of the morning?"  
  
"It's not that loud this is its lowest setting."  
  
"Then why are you listening to it now?"  
  
"I'm doing laundry."  
  
"Laundry?"  
  
"Yeah I always listen to rock whenever I start my laundry."  
  
"Smith the rest of would like to sleep but seeing as how you're up at this time then why don't you get started on your chores." Said Motoko as she wiped some sleep from her eyes.  
  
"I took care of those like a hour ago." Said Gunnar as he tossed a pair of boxers into a pile.  
  
"An hour ago?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Then go to sleep."  
  
"Don't want to."  
  
"You know that Shinobuu will do your laundry for you."  
  
"Cool, then I guess she can finish this up then."  
  
"No you stupid man, she washes, you sort your own."  
  
"Okay then Shinobuu that pile right over there is dirty, that pile I can wear again, that one is clean, and that one I think I'm going to have to burn." Said Gunnar as he pointed out his piles until he came to one which looked like it was growing tentacles and devouring small insects which flew around it.  
  
"I'm feeling kinda sick Gunnar-sempai." Said Shinobuu as she watched a rat which had found it's way into Gunnar's room get eaten by his living pile of clothes.  
  
"Huh oh well guess I'll do it myself."  
  
"But not at this time, wait until the sun rises fully before you attempt you start your laundry ritual." Said Motoko.  
  
"Fine."  
  
Later on that day, music once again radiated from the Hinata Inn, but this time from the laundry room. Gunnar was once again nodding his head happily to Orgy as he dumped a load of damp dark colored clothes into a dryer before turning it on.  
  
"Okay that's the last thing that I have to dry." Said Gunnar as he wiped his forehead and started loading stacks of folded clothes into a basket.  
  
"Well at least you have your clothes folded this time." Laughed Keitaro as he came walking in on Gunnar with his own basket of clothes.  
  
"That's only gonna last before I stuff them into a drawer or my closet."  
  
"You are a sloppy person."  
  
"No, no, no my dear friend sloppy is having things around you which seem like there alive."  
  
"But isn't that how one of your piles of clothes were?"  
  
"No it WAS alive meaning I'm a biohazard."  
  
"Funny well can you promise me not to let your things get like that again?"  
  
"Of course dude."  
  
"Hey Gunnar what's this?" Said Keitaro as he picked up a rolled up piece of black cloth.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"It looks like a very elaborate piece silk rope if you turn it to the side."   
  
"Hey you're right man."  
  
"I wonder why it's in here."  
  
"Beats me."  
  
"Oh well."  
  
"Hey Keitaro there's a name on it." Said Gunnar as he noticed a white tag sticking out from one of the sides of the silk rope.  
  
"Let me see....Ayoyama."  
  
"Ayoyama, Ayoyama...isn't that Motoko's name?"  
  
"Yeah but if her name is on it then that must mean this is her..." Said Keitaro as he tried to stifle a nosebleed as he shook the rope to reveal something which has been sung about by Sisqo.  
  
"In the words of Sisqo, it's a th-th-th-thong!"  
  
"Gah!"  
  
"Quick hide it before one of the girls come here and see us staring at this!"  
  
"Staring at what?" Questioned Kitsune as she walked in on the two startled young men.  
  
"Umm this huge spider." Lied Gunnar.  
  
"What type was it?"  
  
"Umm, the Bootyflossius Negro." Said Keitaro.  
  
"What Keitaro said."  
  
"You two are lying."  
  
"No were not."  
  
"If you're not then what do you have behind you're back."  
  
"Nothing." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Stick out your arm."  
  
"See?"  
  
"Both."  
  
"Kitsune it's not what it looks like."  
  
"Keitaro you're an idiot." Said Gunnar crossly.  
  
"Now tell me why would you boys be ogling Motoko's underwear?" Smirked Kitsune as she walked over to the pair.  
  
"We just found it." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Hey you found it." Said Gunnar.  
  
"You know that Naru and Motoko would be mad if they found out about this. I could forget that this ever happened for let's say a bottle of premium sweet sake." Said Kitsune.  
  
"Hell no."  
  
"Oh well, hey Motoko!"  
  
"Okay fine we'll get your sake." Said Gunnar as he clamped his hand over Kitsune's mouth and inadvertently her breast.  
  
"Make that three." Said Kitsune as Gunnar removed his hand from her mouth.  
  
"You said one."  
  
"But one grope equals two more bottles sexy."  
  
"Grope.... sorry." Blushed Gunnar as he withdrew his other hand.  
  
"Don't worry about it Gunnar. Now be good little managers and go get me my booze."  
  
"Yes Kitsune." Said Keitaro.  
  
"This is all your fault you know that?" Said Gunnar as he and Keitaro left the laundry room.  
  
"You're the one who groped her."  
  
"Yeah but they do feel nice."  
  
"I know what you mean."  
  
"But Motoko having something that I would expect Kitsune to have is a mindblower."  
  
"Hey there are some things in the world we just don't know about yet."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"How a woman thinks."  
  
"Bro we'll never know how women think. The day that happens people in Hell will get milkshakes."  
  
"True." 


	4. Get a Job

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 4: Get a Job  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.  
  
It was already nearing the middle of spring and things at the Hinata Inn weren't going along so well. At the time the payment for the Inn was nearing its due date as well as bills for the other utilities. Seeing as how most of the girls were busy with causing mayhem in the lives of Keitaro and Gunnar, the two decided to go and find some way to gather some money. Yet the hereditary gene of male stupidity left the two dumbfounded on how to go about their way of getting a job. While walking away from the local ice cream parlor, Keitaro and Gunnar began to converse.  
  
"Damn we need to get jobs." Said Keitaro as he began to eat his ice cream cone.  
  
"But I thought that being managers was our job?" Replied Gunnar as he quickly devoured his.  
  
"Yes, but we need one that pays."   
  
"You're right Keitaro...so you got any ideas on where we should look for work?"  
  
"No clue, how about you?"  
  
"Not damn one."  
  
"We're so screwed if we don't find jobs."  
  
"Hey it isn't like two pieces of paper are going to fly out of the blue with a good job opportunity written on them and smack us in the face." Said Gunnar as two pieces of paper with a good job opportunity written on them flew out of nowhere and smacked him and Keitaro in the face.  
  
"You were saying?"  
  
"Okay so I was wrong."  
  
"Hey this one's talking about being an assistant to a professor from Tokyo U."  
  
"Mine says the same thing and they got a number on here."  
  
"That's great."  
  
"I hope the professor is cool."  
  
"Yeah, yeah let's go get make the call so we can at least try to get hired and make some money."  
  
"Alright."  
  
Keitaro and Gunnar rushed back to the Inn where they both started to fight over the phone with Keitaro as the victor. Gunnar sat in a corner and watched as Keitaro started to talk on the other line for over twenty minutes. Once he finished the phone call, Keitaro told Gunnar that the professor was interested in hiring the both of them but first he was coming by to meet with them in person the next day. The two young men were feeling ecstatic and hopeful at the prospect of getting a job so they spent their morning sitting on the stone stairs overlooking the street below them when they both saw a van tearing down the street at high speed. The boys looked confused and then downright scared as the van went up the stairs and launched itself into the all the way over their heads and into the one of the walls. After overcoming their shock of seeing a van which was now smashed against a wall, the two went over to help the occupants of the car when a man with glasses similar to Gunnar with messy brown hair, dark brown eyes, a black long sleeve shirt, black slacks, and a pair of black shoes stepped out of the car with his head dripping blood. A short blonde girl with blue eyes whom was wearing a red followed the bleeding man and black-stripped shirt, blue over-alls and white shoes.   
  
"Oh sorry about that there." Said the man.  
  
"No problem." Said Gunnar.  
  
"Shouldn't you be dead?" Questioned Keitaro.  
  
"I could say the same for the both of us with all we've been through man."  
  
"So you two must be Gunnar and Keitaro." Said the man as he wiped some blood off with a handkerchief he produced from his back pocket.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Great name's Seta." Said Seta.  
  
"Nice to meet ya."  
  
"Hey Ox." Said Gunnar in German as Seta smirked back at him.  
  
"Hey Ghost." Replied Seta in German also as the blonde girl and Keitaro looked at him and Gunnar with confusion.  
  
"Papa can we go now those two look like dorks?" Said the blonde girl.  
  
"Dorks?" Said Gunnar as his left eye began to twitch.  
  
"No Sarah I just have to evaluate them both to see if they're right for the job." Said Seta.  
  
"Alright." Said Sarah as she glared at Keitaro and Gunnar.  
  
"You want to come inside?" Asked Keitaro to Sarah and Seta.  
  
"We'd be delighted." Replied Seta.  
  
"Just sit right here man."  
  
"All right. So Keitaro and Gunnar why do you want to work for me?"  
  
"Well even though we're the managers of this place we need a little bit more money just to pay off some of our bills."  
  
"That's a good reason, now do you two have any skills that could be useful?"  
  
"Well I'm good a drawing and manual labor."  
  
"You should already know about skills by now Seta." Said Gunnar.  
  
"Huh?" Questioned Keitaro.  
  
"Nothing Bro."   
  
"Well you two are good, I expect to see you both at Tokyo U next Tuesday to start working." Said Seta.  
  
"Great thanks alot Seta." Said Keitaro.  
  
"You're welcome Part Timer."   
  
"Keitaro and Gunnar why is there a van smashed into the wall outside?" Questioned a woman with shoulder neck length black hair with a long black shirt, tan shorts, black leggings as she walked in on the group.  
  
"Oh Aunt Haruka it's just mine and Gunnar's new boss and some blonde girl." Said Keitaro before Sarah kicked him in the kneecaps.  
  
"Hey Ruka long time no see." Smiled Seta as he waved at Haruka.  
  
"Is there something I'm missing here."   
  
"Nothing you should be concerned about Keitaro."  
  
"Keitaro what's going on....Seta?" Said Naru as she walked in on the others.  
  
"Hey Narusegawa how are you doing?" Said Seta,  
  
"I'm doing fine Seta."  
  
"Naru how do you know this guy?" Questioned Keitaro.  
  
"The person I made the promise of getting into Toudai to is him."  
  
"Oh..." Muttered Keitaro sadly as he felt his heart break.  
  
A.N.-Yay another chapter done. Well anyways I'd like to thank all of you who have review so far. For those wondering why Gunnar and Seta seem to know each other...that won't be reveiled until four or five chapters later. Hah!! 


	5. To The Beach!

Guns, Kinves, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 5: To The Beach!  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.   
  
Keitaro was sitting on the roof of the Hinata Inn contemplating the events which had happened to him. Sure he got a job from a really cool guy who also paid him well, but the same guy was the one whom Naru was fawning over. Ever since then Keitaro has been unable to approach Naru without running past her or going in the opposite direction. Groaning to himself Keitaro layed down on his back and started to stare into the sky when he heard some footsteps approach him from behind. Rolling over Keitaro saw that it was his Aunt.  
  
"Hey Aunt Haruka." Greeted Keitaro before Haruka hit him.  
  
"Just Haruka." Said Haruka.  
  
"Sorry but what do you want?"  
  
"I've got a little favor to ask of you."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Since the summer season is coming up I was going to run the old beach cafe but I need some people to help me."  
  
"Alright I'll help you but what about Gunnar?"  
  
"Don't worry he's already agreed to help out."  
  
"So when are we leaving?"  
  
"Tomorrow afternoon so be ready."  
  
The next morning Keitaro and the rest of the Inn's residents left for the beach by train. Everyone was really excited about going, even the stotic Motoko for once. Keitaro sat in the back with Gunnar talking about various things while trying to get his mind off of Naru but failed in every attempt to do so. After a short trip the group exited the train and walked along with Suu bouncing along as usual. While the girls were having running around, Keitaro and Gunnar looked on dismally as the saw where they were supposed to be working during the summer.  
  
"This is the beach cafe?" Questioned Keitaro skeptically as he looked at a a rundown old shack.  
  
"It may look shabby but the money it'll raise will help you two pay for maintanence of the Inn." Said Haruka.  
  
"Haruka I've seen shabby and this isn't it." Said Gunnar.  
  
"Yeah if we renovate it then it'll be shabby." Added Keitaro.  
  
"So what I'll fix it later." Said Haruka.  
  
"That is if it doesn't collapse and kill us all." Muttered Gunnar.  
  
"But I also have a mock exam coming up and me and Gunnar can't take off from our other job for long." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Keitaro it's summer and the school's aout and I'll talk to Seta alright. Besides your going to be payed." Smirked Haruka as she lit a ciggerette.  
  
"I feel like we've suckered into something."  
  
"Don't worry the place doesn't open until tommorow so you guys can go and have some fun today, the changing rooms are that way."  
  
"Fine"  
  
The two young men walked over to the changing rooms with their swimsuits downtroden with the idea of working at the beach cafe. Sighing to himself Keitaro opened the door to the changing room where he and Gunnar stumbled upon the girls minus Naru all in their underwear or half way into their bathing suits  
  
"Sorry?" Muttered Gunnar as he started to laugh nervously.  
  
"My bad." Blushed Keitaro.  
  
"Damnit all to hell! We've haven't even been here for a full day and you two are already back up to your antics! I'll kill you both!" Growled Motoko as she unleashed one of her ki attacks on the now fleeing duo.  
  
"We're sorry!" Wailed Gunnar.  
  
"Yea..." Said Keitaro before he ran smack dab into Naru.  
  
"Hey Keitaro." Said Naru.  
  
"I gotta go Naru!! OUCH!! OOOHH!!GAHH!!AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Screamed Keitaro as he tripped and went barreling into and destroying other changing rooms.  
  
"Well that's a way to make an exit." Whistled Kitsune.  
  
Later on that day, Motoko, Gunnar, Kitsune, Suu, Shinobu, and Naru were all sitting down in front of an ice cream stand while trying to figure out what was wrong with Keitaro.  
  
"Urashima seems very highstrung." Stated Motoko as she ate her lemon ice.  
  
"Nope he seems like an emotionally challenged Naru." Joked Gunnar.  
  
"Would you mind repeating that?" Glared Naru.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"What's wrong with Keitaro-sempai?" Said Shinobu.  
  
"I bet Naru said something to him which got him all depressed." Said Kitsune.  
  
"I never said anything to him." Said Naru.  
  
"And I'm the Kool-Aid Man." Said Gunnar.  
  
"You're not helping Gunnar." Said Motoko.  
  
"What I can't speak my mind?"  
  
"No but I got something else you could do." Smirked Kitsune lustily as she leaned onto Gunnar.  
  
"Oh geez olok at the time, gotta go." Blushed Gunnar as he tried to run off but was stopped by being tripped by Motoko.  
  
"Not so fast Smith, you are going to help us with this problem with Urashima." Said Motoko sternly.  
  
"And for that we need you and Shinobu." Said Kitsune.  
  
"Why me?" Asked Shinobu.  
  
"You'll learn soon enough."  
  
Elsewhere Keitaro was was resting on an inflateable raft and staring at the sky and thinking yet again. While left to his own thoughts again, Keitaro remembered another girl whom he was sure to have intrest in, even if she did seem a bit flaky. Keitaro continued until he heard Gunnar's voice yell out to him from the shore. Paddeling back, Keitaro reached his friend while trying to figure why his friend was looking frantic.  
  
"Bro you gotta come quick!" Said Gunnar.  
  
"What do you mean Gunnar?" Asked Keitaro.  
  
"It's Shinobu she passed out when she went swimming and she needs CPR but we don't know how to do it."  
  
"Not good, let's go Gunnar." Said Keitaro as he and Gunnar ran to where Shinobu was.  
  
"Keitaro thank goodness you're here." Sadi Kitsune as she saw him.  
  
"Stand back and let handle this."  
  
"Hey he's actually following proper proceedure." Mused Kitsune to herself while also noticing Shinobu getting redder as Keitaro kept getting closer to her.  
  
"I CAN'T DO THIS!!" Shouted a blushing Shinobu as she lifted her leg at a rapid pace only to have it connect with Keitaro's crotch. At the same time in someother part of the world; a walnut was cracked open, a pinata in the shape of Pac-Man was busted open, and a boulder was crushed by heavy machinery.  
  
"SWEET MOTHER OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS!!" Cried Keitaro in soprano as he clucthed his crotch while curling up in a fetal position.  
  
"Damn, somebody get that man a trashbag filled with ice." Winced Gunnar as he crossed his legs.  
  
Later on at the beach cafe, the entire group was sitting down while enjoying a dinner made by Gunnar. It would have been Keitaro, but the young man couldn't even move to steps without collapsing in pain, so he was sitting down with a trashbag filled with ice in his lap.  
  
"How are you holding up nephew?" Questioned Haruka.  
  
"Fine I guess." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Bro you have alot of strength if you can get up right after getting hit with a mach five kick to the jewels." Laughed Gunnar.  
  
"Yeah, I guess getting knocked into HALO everyday would make a guy tough."   
  
"Anyways Keitaro what was the matter with you anyways?"  
  
"Nothing really, I was just thinking about a friend."  
  
"And would this friend be a girl?"  
  
"You can say that."   
  
"Ara, ara is that you Kei-kun?" Said a woman with long black hair pulled into a braid, dark brown eyes, a light blue sundress, and white sandals approach them.  
  
"Mutsumi?" Choked out Keitaro in shock. 


	6. Cafe

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 6: Cafe  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.  
  
A.N.-Since I'm feeling lazy, the girls are wearing the same things as what they wore in Vol. 5 chapter 35. Mutsumi is wearing the swimsuit she wore in Vol. 3.  
  
Keitaro looked on in shock at the young woman before him and the others. He only spent a week with Mutsumi yet over that small period of time the two became fast friends. He thought that it was good that somebody out there was like him. Getting up despite the pain he was in, Keitaro walked over to Mutsumi and smiled.  
  
"Hello Mutsumi." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Hello to you also Kei-kun." Smiled Mutsumi as she took Keitaro's hand into hers.  
  
"It's been awhile hasn't it?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So what brings you out here to the beach?"  
  
"I was bored back in Okinawa that I decided to take a trip and here I am."  
  
"Sorta the same thing here, my Aunt is running this beach cafe and me and my friends are helping."  
  
"Ara, ara that is if the building doesn't fall on your first."  
  
"Uhh who's that?" Questioned Gunnar as he cocked his head to the side.  
  
"I don't know but she seems to be into Keitaro alot." Said Kitsune.  
  
"Okay people in hell finally got their milkshakes."   
  
"That and it started to snow." Mused Motoko.  
  
"That's someone we met on our trip this past Spring." Fumed Naru.  
  
"Whoah Naru did that time of the month come a few days early?" Joked Gunnar as he noticed Naru's hostility.  
  
"It's nothing."  
  
"Are you sure because I've haven't seen you so red in the face."  
  
"I told you that it is nothing Gunnar!" Hissed Naru as she held Gunnar's head in his dinner.  
  
"MOFAY, MOFAY!!" Said Gunnar's muffled voice as he flailed his arms wildly.  
  
"Hello everybody." Said Mutsumi as she sat at the table.  
  
"Hiyas, who are you?" Said Suu.  
  
"Everyone this is Mutsumi. Mutsumi I'd like you to meet Kitsune, Suu, Shinobu, Haruka, Motoko, and Gunnar. I'm pretty sure that you remember Naru." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Pleasure to meet you all and how have you been doing Naru?" Said Mutsumi.  
  
"I've been fine, just studying for that Toudai exam." Smiled Naru as she let go of Gunnar's head.  
  
"Funny how you can go from psychotic cockroach bitch one minute to all peaches and cream the next." Scoffed Gunnar as he wiped a few prawns and fish bones off of his face.  
  
"Quite you burnt piece of toast!" Yelled Naru as she socked Gunnar across the beach.  
  
"GAAAAAAAAHHHHH!"  
  
"Ara, ara that was nice form." Whistled Mutsumi as she watched Gunnar fly.  
  
"Excuse me while I go help Gunnar free himself from that van." Said Keitaro as he watched his friend hit a large black van.  
  
"Geez Naru did you really have to hit him that hard?" Said Kitsune.  
  
"Yes." Said Naru.  
  
"Just checkin."  
  
The next day, the beach was once again fully packed with people enjoying their vacations. Two young men stood out slightly from the croud. One was with brown hair tall and wearing a blue, orange, and white Hawaii pattern shirt, khaki pants, small circular glasses and brown sandals. The other had brown hair also and was short and slightly chubby with a pair of long blue shorts, a white t-shirt with a gray collar, large round glasses, and white sneakers. The two young men were currently trying to pick up women when the tall one suddenly was smacked across his face very hard by an irate woman whom stormed off.  
  
"Our harvest this year has been unfruitful Shirai." Said the tall one.  
  
"It sure has Haitani." Replied Shirai.  
  
"It's been said that when hunting for chicks it's always better to go with three guys." Said Haitani thoughtfully.  
  
"I've never heard that one before."  
  
"Speaking of three, I wonder what's happened to Keitaro? I've heard that he managed to fail the Toudai exam again."   
  
"Like that was any surprise."   
  
"Anyways let's go get something to eat before we split okay." Said Haitani as he gestured to a cafe called 'Beach Cafe Hinata'.  
  
"Yeah." Said Shirai as he followed Haitani into the cafe.  
  
"Hello." Beemed Mutsumi as Shirai and Haitani walked into the beach cafe.  
  
"Welcome, are there two of you dining today?" Smiled Shinobu as she and Suu were blancing the orders of other people.  
  
"OOOOHHHH!!" Said the two young men as the oggled the girls in their bikins.  
  
"Heya what'll it be, I'd recomend the Geist Blackened Fish and the Shinobu Spaghetti." Winked Kitsune as she came towards Shirai and Haitani with menus in her hands and took them to their seats..  
  
"Sure." Gasped Haitani.  
  
"Aprons and bikinis....every man's dream come true." Said Shirai as a dreamy look overtook his face.  
  
"Yeah...damn look at her, I wonder why no one's hit on her yet."   
  
"She does seem familiar....wait a sec Haitani."  
  
"Hey there chica, how about you and I hook up after you're finished eh?" Said Haitani as he got up from the table Kitsune had seated him and Shirai at.  
  
"Excuse me sir." Said Motoko as she pressed her blade against Haitani's neck.  
  
"Ulp.."  
  
"We have a strict policy of against flirting with the employees!!" Screamed Motoko as she knocked Shirai and Haitani across the cafe.  
  
"This...is also familiar." Moaned Shirai as Keitaro came running towards them.  
  
"Oh I'm sorry about that sirs." Said Keitaro as he came decked out in a pair of jean shorts and a light blue t-shirt with the outline of a green turtle on it.  
  
"Ke-Keitaro?"  
  
"Hey you guys are....I forgot."  
  
"How can you forget your best friend Haitani?!" Said Haitani.  
  
"And your other best friend Shirai?!" Said Shirai.  
  
"Oh yeah, I haven't forgotten about you guys." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Sure you haven't you punk." Growled Haitani as he started to choke Keitaro for a moment.  
  
"Anyways we've heard you failed to get into Tokyo U again." Said Shirai.  
  
"Yeah, but what about you two."  
  
"We got into our first choice schools, barely."  
  
"Lucky you."  
  
"Hey the Four-Eyed Freakfest is back together again." Laughed Naru as she approached the trio.  
  
"And joined by the PMSing Cockroach!" Joked Gunnar whom was wearing a navy tanktop with the number 20 and a pair of long blue jean shorts, as he dodged a wild swing from Naru.   
  
"I hate you Gunnar."  
  
"Love ya too Naru."  
  
"You're that cute girl we just met before that crazy chick blasted us." Said Shirai.  
  
"What are you talking about, you saw eachother at the Prep School everyday." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Look." Said Naru as she put on her glasses and pulled her hair into pigtails.  
  
"Huh?" Said Haitani.  
  
"It's the supernerd girl from school." Said Shirai.  
  
"Don't call me that. Help me out a bit here Keitaro." Said Naru.  
  
"You were offended by that?" Said Keitaro.  
  
How can you keep this a secret huh?!" Said Haitani as he shook Keitaro.  
  
"Yeah how come you never told us that you got a cute girl like this to be your girlfriend?!" Screamed Shirai.  
  
"We're not going out!!" Said Keitaro.  
  
"Alrighty then we'll accept your proposition to stay at your place tonight and evaluate your relationship with her!" Said Haitani.  
  
"I never said that!"  
  
"HEEEYYYYOOO!!" Cheered Suu as she hit both Shirai and Haitani with her butchered version of the Super Hurricane Kick.  
  
"GAHHH!" Yelled Shirai and Haitani in pain.  
  
"You're Keitaro's freinds huh? I'm Suu, nice to meet ya....hello?"  
  
"What's going on here?" Asked Kitsune.  
  
"I think they won't be getting up for a while." Said Gunnar as he poked at the pair with a fork. 


	7. Relationships

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 7: Relationships  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.  
  
After Shirai and Haitani were able to recover from Suu's hello-kick, the pair suggested that they should all meet up later in order to get to know eachother a bit better. Thinking it would be good, the girls agreed to the shock of Keitaro and Gunnar. Later on that night, the entire group met up in the hotel room which Suu, Motoko, and Naru were sharing.  
  
"Here's to meeting new friends!" Exclaimed Haitani as he, Shirai, Mutsumi, and the Hinata residents rose glasses filled with varying liquids up into the air.  
  
"Yeah." Said Kitsune.  
  
"So who's up for a card game?"  
  
"Sure, what are we playing?" Asked Motoko.  
  
"How about strip poker?" Asked Mutsumi as Shirai and Haitani started to drool pervertedly.  
  
"Not a good idea Mutsumi."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Yeah, why not?" Pouted Suu.  
  
"Because it's dirty." Stated Naru.  
  
"Like you never wanted to see either me or Keitaro naked." Scoffed Gunnar.  
  
"Actually I...shut up Gunnar!" Blushed Naru as she tried to hit Gunnar with a wild swing.  
  
"Hey watch it with the haymakers!"  
  
"I'm gonna kill you!"  
  
"Can you wait, I sorta want to have kids before I die."  
  
"Hah, what woman would want you?"  
  
"Not a violent demoness like you I hope."  
  
"Damnit Gunnar!"  
  
"Guess its time for me to leave." Grimaced Gunnar as he ran out the room at full speed.  
  
"Get back here!" Hissed Naru as she began to chase Gunnar.  
  
"It's hard to tell if she wants to kill him." Mummered Shirai.  
  
"That or release all that sexual tension." Chimed in Kitsune.  
  
"I'd say she just wants to kill him." Said Motoko.  
  
"But Gun-Gun and Naru'll make a good couple!" Cheered Suu.  
  
"When that happens I'm goin ta stop drinking!"  
  
"Hey Kei come with me for a while." Whispered Mutsumi to Keitaro as everyone else began to talk about the possibility of Naru and Gunnar ending up together.  
  
"Why?" Said Keitaro.  
  
"It's a secret." Winked Mutsumi as he dragged Keitaro out the door without anyone else noticing.  
  
"Hey where did Keitaro and Mutsumi go?"  
  
Mutsumi and Keitaro began to walk together, eachone thinking hard while enjoying eachothers company.   
  
"Hey Kei I got something that I've been wanting to ask you."  
  
"Ask away."  
  
"How do you feel about Naru?"  
  
"Naru...."  
  
"Did I offend you?"  
  
"No it isn't that."  
  
"Then what is it?"  
  
"Well I've been thinking alot about her lately and I've just came down to the conclusion that what I really feel about her is just that we're not meant to be."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"I just got a crush on her when we met, but with this guy turning up from out of the blue I've just figured to give up on her."  
  
"Ara, ara is the guy Gunnar?"  
  
"No it's not him. Trust me when I say that world peace will become a reality when Naru and Gunnar get together."  
  
"Okay then."  
  
"Besides, I've been thinking of someone else lately."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Well she has dark hair and eyes, she's a pretty easy-going person, plus she's really cute."  
  
"She sounds really nice."  
  
"She is." Blushed Keitaro.  
  
"Kei you're face is a bit red right now."  
  
"Oh...yeah just feeling a bit hot."  
  
"Okay then, I guess this will make you even hotter." Smiled Mutsumi as she took Keitaro's face in her hands and kissed him.  
  
"Is this one of your kisses just because you like me?" Smirked Keitaro as he adjusted his glasses.  
  
"No it isn't, I really MUMPH!" Started Mutsumi before Keitaro kissed her deeply.  
  
Mutsumi and Keitaro lost themselves in their kiss, unbeknownst to them Naru was watching. The young woman was fuming and searching for Gunnar since he managed to evade each and every one of her attacks when she stumbled upon the scene of Mutsumi and Keitaro kissing eachother passionately and without a care in the world. Naru could only stare in shock as she continued to watch. From that moment she knew that she lost Keitaro. Turning away with teary eyes, Naru ran away while trying to clear the memory from her head when she collided into someone.  
  
"Shit she found me!" Exclaimed Gunnar in fear as he moved away from Naru.  
  
"Calm down dork." Said Sarah cooly as she adjusted a miners cap on her head.  
  
"Piss off ya blonde gecko."  
  
"Now stop it you two." Ordered Seta.  
  
"She started it!" Said Gunnar.  
  
"No you did!" Said Sarah.  
  
"You!"  
  
"You!"  
  
"Damnit she bit me! Get off ya damn bulldog!"" Wailed Gunnar in pain as he tried to shake Sarah off his arm.  
  
"Huh...Seta?" Questioned Naru as she recovered from the shock of seeing Sarah do a Final Atomic Buster on Gunnar.  
  
"Of course its me, who were you expecting Col. Sanders?" 


	8. Festival Fun

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 8: Festival Fun  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.   
  
A.N.- I know I sped things up in the last chapter between Keitaro and Mutsumi. I really couldn't think of something so I did that, sorry.Anyways things will start to flow more evenly in the later chapters. Thank all of you who've been reading this story and giving positive feedback well except that damn yammis for asking an retarded and senseless question. And because I'm lazy, everyone is weraring the outfits in Chptr. 36 Vol.5.  
  
The following night the group minus Gunnar and Naru were walking around the beachside while enjoying the Summer Festival. The girls were all dressed in yukata's donated to them from Haruka. At this time, Suu was forcing Shinobuu to eat some food, Keitaro and Mutsumi were walking arm in arm, Shirai and Haitani were enjoying the sights of various women, Kitsune was busy messing with Motoko, and Haruka was just indifferent to the entire scene before her.  
  
"Man this is sure great huh?" Said Keitaro.  
  
"Sure is." Smiled Mutsumi.  
  
"Hey Motoko you look good in that yukata my little traditional girl." Smiled Kitsune as she slid up to Motoko.  
  
"Thanks." Said Motoko wairly.  
  
"But you still have those puppies wrapped up, don't you know you're supposed to go naked underneath these?"  
  
"Geh Kitsune stop!!"  
  
"Come ere!"  
  
"Do you have some other teamly tendacies?"  
  
"Well I have been associated with some of those rumors lately."  
  
"Well looks like our group's all together." Said Haruka as she noticed Gunnar and Naru come walking by while being followed by Sarah and Seta.  
  
"Whoah look at Naru man!" Said Haitani.  
  
"She's so hot...but not as hot as Haruka." Said Shirai.  
  
"True."  
  
"Hey Naru how are you doing?" Asked Mutsumi.  
  
"Fine." Said Naru.  
  
"You don't seem fine." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Yeah, more like you had your heart ripped out and shot twenty times to Hell." Observed Gunnar.  
  
"Gunnar I did not want your input idiot!" Hissed Naru as she placed Gunnar in a headlock.  
  
"Whoah Naru you're moving a bit fast there huh?" Asked Seta as he noticed that while Naru was placing Gunnar in a headlock she held his head in her chest.  
  
"What?" Blushed Naru as she realized what she was doing.  
  
"MUMMPH EA!" Yelled the muffled voice of Gunnar.  
  
"Stupid pervert look what you made me do!"   
  
"Gunnar are you allright?" Asked Haruka.  
  
"Soft...so, so soft." Said a red faced Gunnar as blood slowly trickled from his nose.  
  
"He's good!"  
  
"Feh, can we go and see the festival before the dork wonder passes out from blood loss?" Asked Sarah before Gunnar bopped her over the head with a rolled up sock.  
  
"Sure." Smiled Seta.  
  
"Wait a minute why are YOU here?" Said Haruka as she glared at Seta.  
  
"I heard of a lost treasure along the beach so I thought I'd go and look for it."  
  
"Trust me there's nothing buried here." Said Kitsune.  
  
The group of eleven walked towards the midway where various people were lined up at the different games of chance trying hard to win certain prizes. The Hinata group stopped at a shooting gallery which caught their eyes.  
  
"Okay on my mark....GO!!" Said Seta as he and Haruka knocked over six items each with the pop guns.  
  
"Hmph." Smirked Haruka as she twirled the gun in her hands.  
  
"Haruka's so dreamy." Said Shirai and Haitani dazedly.  
  
"I can do better." Scoffed Gunnar as he adjusted his glasses.  
  
"I'd like to see you try, but your chances of doing better than them is lower that you ever getting a girlfriend." Said Naru as she stuck her tounge out at Gunnar.  
  
"Naru, if I'm able to take down ten items with one shot you'll shut up with the insults okay?"  
  
"It's a deal, but if you fail you have to bow down to my every whim!"  
  
"Right!" Exclaimed Gunnar as he took careful aim at the edge of the booth and fired causing the pellet to richochett until it knocked over ten items.  
  
"What in the seven hells?" Exclaimed a gawk-eyed Keitaro.  
  
"That's some skill." Smiled Seta as he took a drag on a cigarette.  
  
"I won Naru so don't speak." Beemed Gunnar.  
  
"Lucky pervert." Grumbled Naru.  
  
"Hey old man lend me those chop-sticks, I don't like those crude and unusual Western missle weapons." Said Motoko.  
  
"Sure." Said the old-man running the shooting gallery while looking over at the crowd which formed around the Hinata group.  
  
"The Wind God's Boisterous Hidden Dance Attack....HA!!" Shouted Motoko as she flung the chosticks at the prizes and knocked down twenty while the chopsticks were sticking through them.  
  
"You're so cool Motoko!" Cheered Suu.  
  
"You expected anything less?"  
  
"What a scary group of people I'm with." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Hey Kei-kun could you win me that one over there?" Asked Mutsumi as she pointed over to a green and yellow stuffed turtle toy.  
  
"That one?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Bro that seems a bit outta your way, you sure you want to waste your money?" Asked Gunnar.  
  
"You sure you don't want me to get that for you Part-Timer?" Said Seta.  
  
"Your skills with the gun are no where near Gunnar's so just quit." Stated Motoko.  
  
"Try and hit it dork." Teased Sarah.  
  
"Whould you all quit?! I'll show you!" Growled Keitaro as he let off his shot which flew perfectly towards the cute stuffed turtle until....  
  
"Myuh!" Squealed Tama-chan as she popped up out from behind one of the stuffed animals and swatted the pellet over to a stuffed toy which looked like a rabid pink rabbit with no fur.  
  
"No....."   
  
"DOH!" Exclaimed everyone as they fell down in shock.  
  
"Sorry about that Mutsumi."  
  
"Ara, ara Kei-kun its kinda cute...in a sadistic sort of way." Said Mutsumi as she tilted her hed to the side.  
  
"Glad you like it."  
  
"Hey Cockroach." Said Gunnar as he walked up to Naru.  
  
"What Gunnar?" Said Naru as her righ teye began to twitch.  
  
"Catch." Said Gunnar as he tossed a little stuffed angel with blue hair, green eyes, and highly detailed golden wings.  
  
"Thank you Gunnar it's cute."  
  
"Well after you losing to someone of my status I thought you'd need something to cheer you up."  
  
"What do you mean someone of your status?"  
  
"Oh nothing."  
  
"Tell me damnit!"  
  
"Not now."  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
"Gotta catch me first!"  
  
"Get back here!"  
  
"There they go again." Chuckled Haruka.  
  
"If you ask me I think Gunnar likes Naru." Said Seta.  
  
"He does?" Asked everyone.  
  
"Sure, ever since he was a little kid all he would do is tease a girl if he really liked her."  
  
"And just how would you know?" Asked Haruka.  
  
"Well look at the time, lets go and see some other things before the fireworks."  
  
"Seta come back here and explain yourself!"  
  
"Oh look at this little fishie here." Said Seta as he went over to the goldfish catch.  
  
"Stop trying to change the subject you crazy man!"   
  
Later on, everyone had split up for a few hours until the start of the fireworks. During this time Naru was once again after her dorm's assistant manager.  
  
"Hey Naru you're really slow!" Teased Gunnar.  
  
"Why you stupid piece of burnt toast!" Yelled Naru as she tried to punch Gunnar but missed.  
  
"Running outta insults?"  
  
"I will kill you very slowly."  
  
"I'm so scared."  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
"Naru come on let's be friends."  
  
"I don't want to be friends!"  
  
"Then what, boyfriend and girlfriend?"  
  
"..Shut up...." Said Naru as she stopped her pursuit of Gunnar.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nothing you stupid pervert."  
  
"Quit lying Naru, I know when somethings wrong so just let it out."  
  
"You wouldn't understand."  
  
"Oh I wouldn't, then I guess that seeing Keitaro and Mutsumi together isn't affecting you?" Said Gunnar as he noticed a tear slide down Naru's face, "I knew it, you had something for Bro didn't you?"  
  
"What if I did?"  
  
"Naru you should just be happy for them."  
  
"But I feel..."  
  
"I know how you're feeling right now."  
  
"No you don't"  
  
"Come here you stubborn girl." Said Gunnar softly as he wrapped her arms around Naru and held her head to his chest.  
  
"Gunnar..." Cried Naru.  
  
"Shhh, just let it all out okay?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"You feel better now?"  
  
"Yes, but don't tell anyone about this right?"  
  
"I was about to ask you the same thing, we gotta keep up our image of hating eachother in front of the others." Laughed Gunnar as he wiped a stray trear from Naru's face.  
  
"Okay stupid...hey the fireworks are starting." Said Naru as she heard the pyrotechnics go off.  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Gunnar?"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Could you hold me again?"  
  
"I see no harm in it."  
  
"Thank you Toast." Blushed Naru as she snuggled her head into Gunnar's chest.  
  
"You're welcome Cockroach." Smirked Gunnar as he unconsiously held Naru closer to him. 


	9. Someone Pass the Script

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 9: Someone Pass the Script  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.   
  
At the moment everyone was gathered around a round table while looking at a small gray jar with several slips of papers in it. Nervously Keitaro went first and drew out his slip of paper from the jar and was soon followed by the others. Reactions soon followed.  
  
"What I don't want do this!" Exclaimed Naru.  
  
"I get ta be a piggy!" Cheered Suu.  
  
"I'm a clone." Muttered Gunnar.  
  
"Well at least your not a horse's ass." Said Shirai.  
  
"Hey I'm the final boss." Said Seta.  
  
"Ohh this is nice." Said Kitsune.  
  
"Well at least I'm the hero." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Why am I a demon?" Questioned Motoko as she stared blankly at her her slip of paper.  
  
"Just why are we doing this again?!" Asked Naru.  
  
"It's a favor for the woman who runs the hotel so stop complaining all of you!" Said Haruka as she took a drag on her cigarette.  
  
"But what if we screw up our lines?" Said Keitaro.  
  
"I'm sure you guys can go fine just by adlibing."   
  
"But this is useless!" Complained Haitani.  
  
"Haitani there are two theories to arguing with women and neither one works." Said Gunnar as he looked at Haitani while Seta nodded his head in agreement.   
  
"Come on it'll be fun...." Started Mutsumi before she passed out.  
  
"Did she just croak?" Asked Sarah.  
  
"She'll be up in a few seconds, trust me." Said Keitaro as he lifted Mutsumi up from the floor.  
  
The following night...  
  
"Ara, ara this is a big desert." Said Mutsumi as she was dressed in a preists robes while overlooking a desert while riding a shoddy looking horse.  
  
"For being a girl you weigh a ton." Grunted the back end of the horse.  
  
"There is Five Element Mountain, according to legend, a mokey king is supposed to be imprsioned there."  
  
"Hello could any body get me down, these chains are really starting to chafe." Said Keitaro as he was stapped to a bolder with chains.  
  
"Oh there's the monkey."  
  
"I'm not just any old monkey, I'm the Great Sage Equal to the Heavens, Son Goku."  
  
"Now Kei..I mean Goku if you behave I'll let set you free so you can become my first disciple."  
  
"Lemme think..."  
  
"Now Goku. You must help out Lady..Sir...well you must help out Sanzou in the quest to retrieve the scriptures of Buhddah for your past violent transgressions. If you help in completeing the task then you shall be forgiven of your sins." Said Shinobbu as her face appeared via projection above them.  
  
"Fine I'll go."  
  
"Man Mutsumi's heavy..." Moaned Haitani.  
  
"Shut up you two." Hissed Keitaro as he hit Haitani with his staff.  
  
"Goku remember the impressionable children behind you." Said Shinobuu.  
  
"Go Monkey!!" Said a little boy.  
  
"You're the greatest monkey!" Said a little girl.  
  
"Yay Goku." Said another child.  
  
"Okay, okay let's just get this over with." Said Keitaro.  
  
The play went on without much trouble. During the couse of the story Motoko and Suu joined up with Keitaro and Mustumi as the water demon Gojo Sa and the pig, Hakkai Cho. Then things began to go as most people would say, on a handbasket to Hell. It all started with the introduction Kitsune's character of a village cheif's daughter.  
  
"Oh you must help me, there is a mean and nasty monster who wants to claim me as his bride, but right now I'd rather that you Monkey to take me right now than be his!" Said Kitsune as she glomped Keitaro.  
  
"Whaaa!" Said Keitaro as he flailed his arms.  
  
"Ara, ara there are kids in the audience." Said Mutsumi.  
  
"Alright we'll help you out, slaying monsters is our specialty after all."  
  
The scene once again changed as the group of heros found themselves in a swamp.  
  
"Alright I don't see any monsters here." Said Keitaro.  
  
"This is a complete waste of time." Said Motoko.  
  
"Feh-heh-heh-heh." Resounded a sinister chuckle.  
  
"Hey where's that laughing coming from?" Asked Mutsumi as she stroked her chin.  
  
"I don't know." Said Suu.  
  
"You fell for our trap!" Said Shirai as he and Haitani took off the horse costume.  
  
"It's a hobbit and a scarecrow." Said Suu.  
  
"No it is I the Great Lord Kinkaku!" Said Haitani as he struck a dramatic pose.  
  
"And I'm the other Great Lord Ginkaku!" Exclaimed Shirai.  
  
"Hand over the monk now and we'll let you all go!"  
  
"No if I go with you then...." Said Mutsumi before she passed out.  
  
"Well that makes our job easier."  
  
"Not so fast, I the Great Sage Equal to the Heavens, Son Goku shall stop you from laying a finger on my anemic master!" Said Keitaro.  
  
"Pheh what can you do?"  
  
"This.. the Technique of Self Beyond Self!" Exclaimed Keitaro as he plucked some of his hair from his head, chewed it and spat it out when a puff of gray smoke billowed and disspersed to reveal Gunnar in the same oufit as him in a battle pose.  
  
"Hey that Monkey looks burnt!" Said a little girl.  
  
"Yeah like a piece of bread." Laughed another while other children began a chant of 'Toasty Monkey'.  
  
"Damn thee rotten kids!" Growled Gunnar.  
  
"Gunnar." Said Mutsumi as she regained consciouness.  
  
"Oh yeah, let's go now you simpletons!"  
  
"As you wish!" Said Shirai before Keitaro and Gunnar made quick work of him and Haitani.  
  
"Hah no one can match the power of Son Goku..GECK!" Exclaimed Keitaro as he and Gunnar hit eachothers heads with their staffs and fell down while flipping up both the bottom portions of Mutsumi's and Motoko's costumes up.  
  
"Whoa panties!" Said one little boy as his eyes lit up with joy.  
  
"Perverts!" Yelled Motoko as she beat Keitaro and Gunnar before they collapsed into a heap ontop of Shirai and Haitani.  
  
"Vitctory!" Exclaimed Suu as she planted her foot on Keitaro's chest and did the victory sign.  
  
"Well that ends their evil."  
  
"Did you just hear anymore laughing?" Asked Mustumi.  
  
"Yeah...but from where?" Asked Keitaro as he came too while Gunnar began to drag Shirai's and Haitani's bodies off the stage.  
  
"That was very good Goku and friends but this is where your journey ends!" Said Seta as he Sarah and Tama-chan popped out up from the audience and lept onto the stage.  
  
"Se-I mean Gyumaoh."  
  
"Hahaha, now I will take Sanzou with me now since the flesh of Tang monk bestowes eternal youth and immortality."  
  
"Bye everyone." Waved Mutsumi as Seta lifted the young woman in his arms and lept away.  
  
"Stop looking stupid Ura..I mean Goku we have to save our master." Said Motoko.  
  
The scene once again changed to that of a expansive and cave whre in the middle a giant pillar stood. At the top of this pillar sat Seta, Naru, Kitsune, Sarah, Tama-chan and Mutsumi in a Slave Princess Leia outfit.  
  
"Gyumaoh we've come back to claim our master!" Announced Keitaro boldly.  
  
"So you made all the way eh? Well how about we fight Goku-kun since it's the climax of the play." Chuckled Seta as he slipped into t lazy fighting stance.  
  
"That stance....Seta..Gyumaoh ever since I met you I felt something from you." Said Motoko as she readied her spear.  
  
"So you're Ayo..err Gojou."  
  
"Hmph! I hope you accept my challenge!"  
  
"Very well then let's fight!"  
  
"Can't you wait till I'm out of the middle?!" Wailed Keitaro.  
  
"Hey Keitaro-Goku you can go and get Turtle Lady now." Said Suu.  
  
"Oh yeah. Mutsumi let's go now!"  
  
"But I was having so much fun being in Gyumaoh's company." Said Mutsumi with a hint of dissapointment in her voice.  
  
"What the heck type of Sanzou is that?"  
  
"Heh-heh." Laughed Seta as he continued to parry all of Motoko's attacks.  
  
"This man..." Growled Motoko to herself.  
  
"Your stance and grip...is it not a style which is taugh in the deep mountains, the blade which cries to the gods....yes the God's Cry School am I correct?"  
  
"How could you know?"  
  
"Your fighting skill is very good for someone your age Motoko, now it's your turn Goku." Smiled Seta as he patted Motoko on her head and turned around to Keitaro while Motoko slumped to her knees in defeat.  
  
"Don't you understand that I have absolutely no chance in hell against someone who just beat Motoko?!" Said a frightened Keitaro.  
  
"But you came so far now Goku-kun."  
  
"Now for our prize of the Guymoah vs. Goku bout we have a most excellent prize." Smirked Kitsune as she suspended Mutsumi in the air by chains.  
  
"Kitsune what are you planning now?" Asked Naru.  
  
"Something fun."  
  
"My, my what a sexy tang monk we have there." Said Seta.  
  
"Thank you." Beemed Mutsumi.  
  
"But..." Started Goku before he heard Gunnar's voice from offstage  
  
"Are you gonna let him get away with this Bro?" Said Gunnar's voice before a loud thumping noise followed it.  
  
"....No I am a man after all and a man needs to stand for what he believes in even if his life is forfeit." Said Keitaro after much though and condsideration.  
  
"So you decided to fight eh?" Said Seta as he walked towards Keitaro.  
  
"Yes but not alone! Technique of Self Beyond Self.....I said Technique of Self Beyond Self..." Said Keitaro before Gunnar was pushed out onto the stage by an irritated Haruka.  
  
"I'll get you back for this later." Grunted Gunnar in German.  
  
"LET'S BEGIN KEITARO AND GUNNAR!" Yelled Seta as he rushed at the duo.  
  
"RIGHT..YAAAHHH!" Shouted both Keitaro and Gunnar as they charged forth while spinning their staffs. Unbeknownst to either of them they each snagged an article of clothing from Mutsumi and Naru...well in Gunnar's case it was more like Naru's entire costume.  
  
"DOOHHH!" Exclaimed everyone as they saw Naru being stripped down to nothing but a pair of panties and Mutsumi was rendered topless.  
  
"Huh?" Questioned Keitaro as he noticed a bikini top on one end of his staff and a set of robes on the end of Gunnar's.  
  
"Grrr....STUPID GOKU-CLONE!" Growled Naru as she punched Gunnar into Keitaro and Seta.  
  
"RRRGGHH!!" Exclaimed Gunnar, Keitaro, and Seta as they were all knocked out cold.  
  
"Oh no..sorry."  
  
Later on back stage everyone was happy that the play was finally over.  
  
"Hey guys, the owner thought you all did really good so they want you to do this again next year." Said Haruka as everyone looked at her like she was crazy.  
  
"The only way you're getting me to do this again is to have me drunker than Kitsune." Drawled Gunnar as he wrapped some bandages around his head.  
  
"I'm never going through this again!!" Shouted Keitaro.  
  
A.N.- Just couldn't wait to do this part. Anyways you can all look forward to seeing Keitaro and Gunnar getting sent HALO, Naru actually becoming a gentler woman, Mecha-Tama's, haunted caves, why Gunnar and Seta know eachother, and most of all Bloods, Crips, Yakuza and the Triads! 


	10. Oh It's SO On

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 10: Oh It's SO On  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing relating to Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.  
  
The Hinata crew had finally finished their time working for Haruka. The older woman had told them they were to be getting a very nice bonus with their last paychecks, in addition to the revelation that their replacements looked like ex-yakuza hitmen whom seemed to know Gunnar quite well. In the meantime, the group were enjoying their last day on the beach, while Keitaro and Gunnar were fleeing from Motoko after one of their many accidents.  
  
"Damnit you two!" Shouted Motoko.  
  
"It was an accident, we didn't even see anything!" Wailed Keitaro.  
  
"Yeah like your black thong!" Chimed in Gunnar as he continued to run alongside Keitaro.  
  
"Gunnar!"  
  
"Oh hell!"  
  
"DIE!!" Screeched Motoko as she unleashed one of her school's chi attacks on the fleeing duo.  
  
"PPPPHHHHRRRRRRGGG!!" Exclaimed Keitaro and Gunnar in pain as they flew threw a shaved ice stand.  
  
"Geez, those two can't even go two days without drawing the wrath of Motoko." Said Kitsune as she fully opened her left eye.  
  
"Yeah." Said Shirai.  
  
"Well Gunnar's mouth is going to be the end of them one day."  
  
"You said it." Nodded Shinobuu.  
  
"Crazy samurai chick." Grunted Gunnar as he wiped some blue razzberry flavoring juice off of his face.  
  
"Next time you get the urge to speak, bite your tounge." Huffed Keitaro as he spat out a orange paper umbrella.  
  
"Yeah, yeah...ugh."   
  
"Hey Gunnar." Said Naru as she motioned for Gunnar to follow her behind some bushes.  
  
"What do you want Naru?"  
  
"Nothing just wanted to say hi Toasty."  
  
"Will you quit with the jokes of burntness due to me being dark skinned?"  
  
"Only if you quit calling me Cockroach."  
  
"Well no can do Cockroach!"  
  
"Charcol."  
  
"You wouldn't get away with most of things you say if you weren't pretty."  
  
"What was that?"  
  
"Nothing..."  
  
"You said something about me being pretty."  
  
"Pretty DUMB."  
  
"Moron."  
  
"Demon."  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Well then what about the night of the festival?"  
  
"That was different."  
  
"Bull."  
  
"Just shut up...." Blushed Naru as she moved her head closer to Gunnar's.  
  
"Heyas what are you two up to back there?" Beemed Suu as she and Sarah popped from out of nowhere.  
  
"Nothing!" Said Naru as she backed away from Gunnar.  
  
"Not a damn thing!" Said Gunnar.  
  
"Sure you weren't going to kiss him?" Asked Suu.  
  
"Would I kiss someone like him?" Said Naru with disgust.  
  
"You're right, kissing him will probably infect you with stupidity." Said Sarah.  
  
"Shut up you dumb blonde." Spat Gunnar.  
  
"Jackass."  
  
"If you wren't so little I'd....GAAAHHHH!!" Screamed Gunnar as he dove out of the way of an incoming van with Naru and Sarah underneath each arm and Suu on his back.  
  
"Sorry about that, the car lost control for a minute." Beemed Seta as he stepped out of the car while bleeding from the head again.  
  
"Hello Seta."   
  
"Moron." Huffed Gunnar.  
  
"Don't call Papa a moron dumbass!" Said Sarah as she kicked Gunnar in his knee.  
  
"Owww my trick knee, damn you!"  
  
"It's Seta." Said Keitaro.  
  
"And he's bleeding from the head again." Stated Shinobuu as Suu only nodded.  
  
"Papa are we leaving now?" Asked Sarah as she tugged on Seta's lab coat.  
  
"Just me this time kiddo. Listen you're at the time in your life when you need to settle down and have friends so I want you to stay with Keitaro." Said Seta.  
  
"WHAT?!"   
  
"Later everyone, I'll be back in a month or so!" Smiled the absent minded professor before he drove off in his seemingly indestrucable van.  
  
"Papa..."  
  
"Come on Sarah it isn't that bad." Said Naru as she placed her hand on Sarah's shoulder.  
  
"Don't touch me!"  
  
"Sarah!"  
  
"Let the brat go, she'll come around eventually." Said Gunnar as he began to munch away on a melty chocolate bar.  
  
"You are so cruel."  
  
"Just being a realist."  
  
Sarah had ran a short distance away before she collapsed on the ground while crying about the unfairness of the world. The blonde continued to cry until she started to plot something against everyone. It only took her a second but she came up the ultimate plot. All she needed were some big men, rope, white bedsheets, poles on fire, and some moonshine. During that timeframe as Sarah was gathering her tools, Keitaro and Mutsumi were walking along the beach together while the trio of Haitani, Kitsune, and Shirai followed them closely with a video camera. The trio began to get excited as they filmed Mutsumi and Keitaro about to kiss when they heard drunken rambling over to their right. Everyone turned and freaked out as they saw a group of ten burly men dressed in white sheets and hoods run at them with burning poles. Everyone began to scatter out in fear.   
  
"Run for the hills!" Screamed Keitaro.  
  
"Ahh it's a ghost!" Wailed Shinobuu.  
  
"What the hell...AHH IT'S THE KKK!! EVERY MINORITY FOR THEMSELVES!!" Screamed Gunnar as he ran around in circles before Naru bopped him in the head and dragged him off.  
  
"Really I thought your first reaction would be to run!" Said Naru.  
  
"This isn't right, why's the Klan here in Japan?!"  
  
"I have no clue!"  
  
"First one who get's the negro get's to drag him with the pick up!" Said one of the men in sheets.  
  
"Screw that...wait I forgot I didn't bring my gun with me!" Said Gunnar as he realized he didn't have his prized weapon.  
  
"Just run moron!" Said Naru.  
  
"Cockroach!"  
  
"Jackass."  
  
"Now's not the time to fight you two!" Whimpered Shinobuu.  
  
"She started it!"  
  
"No he did!" Spat Naru.  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"Did too!  
  
"Not!"  
  
"Too!"  
  
"Epp...truce?" Muttered Gunnar as he noticed that they ran into a member.  
  
"Truce."  
  
"Yer mine now boy!" Said the man as he reached for Gunnar.  
  
"Wait a minute...how about you just say this....." Said Gunnar as he whispered something into the mans ear.  
  
"Alright then...I will grasps this woman's breasts right here and enjoy it before I beat you to bloody pulp!"  
  
"Three, two, one...." Counted down Gunnar before....  
  
"PERVERT!!" Screached Naru as she hit the man in their way with an uppercut which would've made Sugar Ray proud.  
  
"Nice..."  
  
"No one shall touch these breasts and enjoy it besides myself and Gunnar!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Nothing and stop staring like that you pervert!"  
  
"Yes...but when...."  
  
"Don't even finish that sentence damnit!"  
  
"Roger that."  
  
"Oh this is just too weird." Muttered Shinobuu.  
  
Elsewhere....  
  
"Ahh they're still behind us!" Wailed Kistune.  
  
"Hey wait a minute over here!" Smirked Haitani as he noticed a group of people surrounding someone.  
  
"Is that who I think it is?" Asked Mutsumi.  
  
"Yep." Smiled Keitaro wickedly.  
  
"Where are they?" Said one of the men.  
  
"I dunno boss." Said another.  
  
"Hey you...oh boy." Whimpered one of the men when he noticed that he and his cohorts were standing in front of Iron Mike Tyson.  
  
"Well, well no matter where you idiots are always there. I'm gonna eat you praise be Allah!" Shouted the boxer as he began to beat down the Klan members.  
  
"Do you think that was right?" Asked Haitani as he surveyed the carnage.  
  
"Ahh me spleen!" Screamed one man.  
  
"Oh dear Lord he bit my ear off!" Wailed another.  
  
"My nose!" Said another.  
  
"My left testicle!" Yelled a man in high soprano.  
  
"Okay now it became right." Smiled Kitsune as the others just nodded their heads.  
  
After the beating the recieved on behalf of Mike Tyson, the men all took off the hoods and to the shock of everyone they were all very tall and muscular Japanese men. Wondering why in the world they would do a stunt like that, they came to the conclusion that they were all drunk do to them reaking of poor quality alcohol. It didn't take long for everyone to realize that it was all Sarah's fault. They were all angry and they all declared at that moment that it was all out war against the blonde terror.  
  
A.N.- I know it was wierd for me to do that but hey it was funny when I thought of it. Anyways thanks for the reviews and no this is not a self insert for those who think it is. If ya want a self insert read Journey to the West Hina Style! Now that onw is odd. Oh if you'd all be so l33t and cool could you please go and review my stories at Fictionpress.com, I'm under the same pen name there. Thanks and laterz. 


	11. Payback

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 11: Payback  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing relating to Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.  
  
A few days had passed since Sarah pulled her little stunt. Everyone was back at the Inn and going along with his or her daily tasks. Gunnar was repairing some damaged roof sections after Motoko and Naru knocked him HALO after he accidentally tripped and grabbed Mutsumi's breasts for support, Keitaro was studying with Naru and Mutsumi, Suu was being crazy as usual, Motoko was practicing, Shinobuu was cooking, Sarah was being a pest, and Kitsune was getting drunk. Speaking of Sarah, the little terror was rummaging through Gunnar's room when she came across a medium sized box and opened where she saw a pair guns, one red and the other blue, and a pair of long knives which held a carving of a wolf head. As she continued to look at the weapons, Gunnar walked into the room and let a low cough escape his mouth startling Sarah.  
  
"Why in the seven hells are you in my room?" Said Gunnar dryly as he glared at Sarah.  
  
"Just looking you dork." Spat Sarah as she closed the box.  
  
"Hey it's rude to go through others things."  
  
"So what?"  
  
"I should just hit you."  
  
"If you hit me then everyone'll be mad at you."  
  
"Nope, in fact they'll be giving me props."  
  
"Oh well then I'll have to use this." Smirked Sarah evilly as she pulled a large lacy bra from her back pocket.  
  
"Eh...just what are you doing with that?"  
  
"It's Naru's, she gots some big knockers...I wonder what she'll do if she finds out you have this in your room?"  
  
"You wouldn't..." Started Gunnar before he heard Naru walk up behind him.  
  
"Hey Gunnar have you seen...that's my bra." Said Naru as she noticed her lingerie lying on Gunnar's stack of CDs.   
  
"Gun-boy here snuck it outta your room." Said Sarah.  
  
"Like hell I did!" Said Gunnar.  
  
"PERVERT!" Snapped Naru as she super kicked Gunnar through his window.  
  
"Boy that had to hurt." Whistled Sarah.  
  
After Gunnar was able to remove himself from the bushes he became trapped in, he was once again put through another world of pain as Sarah dropped a two-pound lead ball onto his crotch. Needless to say Gunnar was quite pissed about that. Later on in the day Sarah had decided on a new target, namely Keitaro. She found the ronin walking through the hallways reading a small pocket dictionary with Tama-chan on his shoulders.   
  
"Hey Keitaro!" Said Sarah.  
  
"What is it Sarah?" Asked Keitaro.  
  
"Myuuh." Responded Tama-chan.  
  
"I wanted your help with something." Said Sarah.  
  
"I have to study."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"No."  
  
"You suck."  
  
"Later Sarah."  
  
"Nobody brushes me off! STUPID KEITARO!!" Shouted Sarah as she hit Keitaro with a flying dropkick, which sent him flying down the stairs.  
  
"Urrgghh."  
  
"Hahahahaha...AHHHHH!" Screamed Sarah as she felt her underwear being pulled up hard.  
  
"Atomic wedgie, gotta love it." Smirked Gunnar as he held Sarah up by the waist strap of her underwear.  
  
"Put me down!"  
  
"No way."  
  
"Come on I'm sorry!"  
  
"Sure you are."  
  
"Please?"  
  
"Hell no."  
  
"First you delve into your perverted acts and now you torment a young child...I will not stand for this Smith, Boulder Cutting Slash!" shouted Motoko as she used her attack to send Gunnar flying through the walls.  
  
"DAMN THEE!"  
  
Later on that night, the managers of the Hinata were sitting down on the roof nursing the injuries they sustained over the day. The rest of the girls were sitting down in the kitchen preparing to eat dinner. Yet again, Sarah was still plotting.  
  
"Ah this smells good Shinobuu!" Said Motoko.  
  
"Yeah, but what about Keitaro and Gun-Gun?" Asked Suu.  
  
"After all they've done they can starve for the day."  
  
"Ara, ara isn't that a bit mean?" Said Mutsumi.  
  
"Your point being?" Said Naru and Motoko flatly.  
  
"Wait a minute did anyone hear something?"   
  
"No I...the lights went out!" Said Kitsune.  
  
"On no!" Wailed Shinobuu.  
  
"Everyone just remain calm."  
  
"MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Echoed a sinister laugh that echoed throughout the inn.  
  
"Should we remain calm now?" Said Shinobuu fearfully as she latched onto Suu.  
  
"Fine I'll go and see what it was." Said Motoko.  
  
"Be careful Motoko."  
  
"I will."  
  
"This is just great, alone in the dark." Said Naru.  
  
"Yes, but think of all the wonderful things that happen in the dark." Said Mutsumi.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"A big scary tentacle monster that leaps from the shadows and ravages a young virgin schoolgirl until she is fully satisfied and carrying the demon spawn." Smiled Mutsumi.  
  
"You are truly twisted Mutsumi." Said Kitsune flatly as she lit a candle.   
  
"No argument there." Said Naru.  
  
"You people are all crazy, it's probably just Gunnar and Keitaro acting stupid again." Said Sarah.  
  
"True but..." Started Naru before she heard Motoko scream bloody murder.  
  
"That was Motoko." Said Suu.  
  
"Yeah...Motoko is that you?" Asked Shinobuu warily as she heard the sound of running towards their directions.  
  
"Y-y-y-yes it is." Stammered Motoko  
  
"What's the matter, you're kinda pale?" Asked Kitsune.  
  
"Urashima and Smith...th-th-they're dead." Cried Motoko as she covered her face.  
  
"This isn't time for jokes."  
  
"It is not a joke! I saw their bodies...all cut up and covered in blood...it was horrible!"  
  
"No..."  
  
"Sempai is dead..." Whimpered Shinobuu.  
  
"Alright everyone we need to stick together on this alright?"  
  
"Yes but what about...AHHHHH!" Said Kitsune as a shadowy form grabbed her and dragged her off into the darkness.  
  
"Kitsune!" Said Naru.  
  
"NO GET OFFA ME GLRRRK!"  
  
"Run!" Said Sarah.  
  
"But Kitsune..." Cried Shinobuu.  
  
"It's all over for her now, so let us leave before we share her fate." Said Motoko.  
  
"Oh that you are Kendo." Said a sinister figure as it grabbed Motoko and leapt away into the shadows.  
  
"Foul demon I'll kill you!" Shouted Motoko before the sound of her choking on her own body fluids caught everyone's attention.  
  
"Not Motoko too!" Said Suu.  
  
"We're all gonna die!" Wailed Shinobuu.  
  
"No we're not!" Said Naru.  
  
"This is hopeless!" Said Sarah before she saw two figures moving towards her and the others.  
  
"KYAAAA!" Screamed Naru, Shinobuu, Suu, and Mutsumi as the shadowy forms cut them up.  
  
"No...I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die, I don't wanna die!" Cried Sarah as the lights were suddenly cut on to reveal the rest of the girls on the ground covered in blood and their eyes staring blankly into the ceiling, "Oh no..."  
  
"Oh no is right." Said a man garbed in a black ninja outfit with an ogre mask.  
  
"Yes, it is an appropriate term for now." Said another whom was dressed like the first man with the exception he had a wolf mask.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!"  
  
"Oh scream some more we like it when our prey screams." Chuckled the man with the ogre mask.  
  
"Please don't kill me!!"  
  
"Oh plead for your life that'll make it all the more better!"  
  
"AHHHH!" Screamed Sarah as she pissed her pants before she heard a lot of laughter.  
  
"Oh God that was funny. Bro check it out looks like the half pint pissed her pants!" Laughed the man with the wolf mask as he took it off to reveal that it was Gunnar.  
  
"I know, this was a good plan." Smiled Keitaro as he took off his mask as the girls got up and laughed.  
  
"That wasn't funny!" Shouted Sarah.  
  
"Oh like sending those dudes dressed up like Klan members wasn't?"  
  
"Okay so I was wrong and I promise never to do that again!"  
  
"For real?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Good, but first go and clean up your 'mess'". Said Keitaro.  
  
"Yes Keitaro."  
  
"Now that's finished who's gonna call Shirai and Haitani and tell them the good news?" Asked Motoko.  
  
"Ehh we'll tell them in the morning." Yawned Gunnar.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Hey Gunnar." Said Kitsune.  
  
"Yeah Kitsune?"  
  
"You got a free feel so you know my policy."  
  
"But it was an accident!"  
  
"Nope or should I tell Naru about your little bedtime mumblings?" Whispered Kitsune into Gunnar's ear as she waved an audiocassette tape.  
  
"I so hate you."  
  
"But I so love you, now go get me my sake." Smiled Kitsune as she pecked Gunnar on his cheek as Naru started to steam at the ears.  
  
"Kitsune!" Seethed Naru.  
  
"What, is little Naru jealous because I kissed her Toast?"  
  
"Shut up and eat damnit." 


	12. The Past Will Always Come Back to Bite Y...

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 12: The Past Will Always Come Back to Bite You In the Ass Pt.1  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar.  
  
Autumn was starting to settle in the land. During the past few months, the Hinata residents had endured many oddities such as Suu and Sarah's kissing machine, Motoko nearly killing Keitaro and later being nice to him, and many more occurances. At the moment Suu and Shinobu were walking along towards school when they ran into a man. The man was thin, pale, and was wearing all black. The man just smirked at the girls and walked off leaving the two slightly confused and a bit freaked out.  
  
"Hey Shinobu why was that guy so scary?" Asked Suu  
  
"I don't know Suu but I got a bad feeling from that man." Said Shinobu.  
  
"Don't worry if anything happens we got Motoko, Naru, Keitaro, and Gunnar to protect us!"  
  
"Your cheerfulness never ceases to amaze me at all Suu."  
  
"Yeo, so let's get to school so I can show off my brand new Mecha-Tama Mark Four!" Beamed the dark-skinned girl as she pulled out a medium sized metal turtle shaped like a tank out of her school bag.  
  
"You actually brought one of those along?!" Gasped Shinobu as her eyes went wide.  
  
"Sure it'd be soo cool!"  
  
"No it wouldn't Suu!"  
  
As the girls left while arguing over why a Mecha-Tama should be allowed in school, the man that they ran into just looked back with a small smirk on his face after he heard Gunnar's name being spoken. The man then began to to follw the two girl's with ill thoughts on his mind. Elsewehere Gunnar was sitting down looking over a busted water pipe with Haruka since everyone was either at school, or in Kitsune's case getting over a mild hangover.   
  
"So have you almost fixed it yet?" Asked Haruka.  
  
"I haven't finished fixing it since you asked three minutes ago." Said Gunnar.  
  
"You're the assistant mangager."  
  
"And that's supposed to mean?"  
  
"Stop being lazy and get to work."  
  
"Fine you old woman." Sighed Gunnar as Haruka smaked him with a wrench.  
  
"What was that?" Glared Haruka.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Damn crazy ass women, I've never been hit this much since..."  
  
"Since what?"  
  
"Oh nothing really."  
  
"Would it have to deal with a mass assanination of high ranking Triad leaders a few years ago?"  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"I have my ways of getting information that I need and I must say that your past is pretty interesting, Ghost. Plus some guy came by my teashop a few days ago asking about you."  
  
"Great, so you're gonna tell everyone else?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"You're not?"  
  
"Did I stutter, besides it's your past, so you choose if you're going to tell everyone else or not."  
  
"Well thanks Haruka."  
  
"No need now get back to fixing that pipe and after you're done you can take Suu her lunch since she left it here."  
  
"Why can't you do it?"  
  
"Because I have a buisness to run."  
  
"Damn slave driver."  
  
Thirty minutes later Gunnar finished working on the pipe and started to take Suu her forgotten lunch. As Gunnar walked along the sidewalk he saw a few police cars speed past him. Thinking nothing of it, the young man continued to on his way when he came towards the school and saw at least a dozen police cars lined up around the school while a stream of kids poured out of the school. Dropping the lunch, Gunnar ran over to a kid which made it ast the cop cars.  
  
"Hey kid what's going on?" Asked Gunnar.  
  
"There's some crazy guy in there with a whole bucnh of razor wire and guns!" Said the kid.  
  
"What does this guy look like?"  
  
"Tall, pale, long black hair, and all black clothes. The guy was really creepy and he took two girls when he came."  
  
"Did one of them have a skin tone like mine and the other have blue eyes?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"This is fabulous." Spat Gunnar as he ran through to the school.   
  
The young assistant manager of the Hinata Inn had only two things on his mind at the moment; to get Suu and Shinobu back safely and to get back at the one who took them. 


	13. The Past Will Always Come Back to Bite Y...

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 13: The Past Will Always Come Back to Bite You In the Ass Pt.2  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar, the now late Manny (Just read and find out why he's 'late') and Aoki (Who will appear later on in the story).  
  
Nothing could stop Gunnar as he rushed towards the school. Little dogs, they got kicked. Children, they got ran over. The police, were socked, bit, and had their eyes gouged as they tried to stop Gunnar. After he was able to break past the blockade of police, Gunnar began to check out some of the lower levels of the school when he nearly impaled by a sharpened yardstick. Breathing a sigh of relif, the young man continued his search for his friend's abductor. Elsewhere in the school, a tied up Suu and Shinobu were glaring angrily at the same man that they ran into earlier pace back and forth in front of them while muttering darkly with the occasional hysterical hyena-laugh.  
  
"What are you going to do you crazy man?" Asked Suu.  
  
"Oh quite child, you're just bait for Ghost." Said the man as he lokd at Suu.  
  
"What there's a ghost?"  
  
"No you blonde twit, your friend Ghost will come searchng for you once he learns of your abduction."  
  
"We don't know anyone named Ghost and what is he anyways, does he owe you money?" Asked Shinobuu.  
  
"You do know Ghost."  
  
"We do?" Said Shinobuu and Suu.  
  
"Yes, I believe you know him as Gunnar Geist Smith and as for what he is or was, he was the top contract killer of the Yakuza."  
  
"You're lying Gun-Gun would never kill anyone." Said Suu.  
  
"Oh but he did child, have ever noticed him wield knives with grace or shoot a gun with a inhuman accuracy before?" Asked the man as he saw the stunned looks on the girls' faces, "You believe now don't you, a person doesn't gain those types of skills in a arcade."  
  
"It can't be true, Gunnar can't be a killer."  
  
"Face it girl, besides you'll just end up dieing if Ghost doesn't meet my demands."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What did we ever do to you?!"  
  
"Just my job from my boss; Get Ghost back into the fold using any means nessasary. Ghost always did have a soft spot for women, children, and the elderly." Cackled the man as he drew a pair of midnight black six-shooters from his back pockets.  
  
While everything was happening in the building, outside Keitaro and the rest of the Hinata residents were standing outside of the middle school while wondering what was going on.   
  
"Ara, ara is there a fire anywere?" Asked Mutsumi.  
  
"Does it look as if a fire is blazing out of control?" Asked Motoko dryly.  
  
"Now that you mention it, I see no fire."  
  
"Anyways let's check to see if Suu and Shinobu are alright." Said Naru.  
  
"Hold on there miss, nobody can get in." Said a police officer as he stepped in front of the group while causing everybody to flinch at the sight of his broken nose, black eyes, and fat lips.  
  
"Geez what happened to you?" Asked Keitaro.  
  
"Some madman entered the school and is holding two girls hostage..one Koalla Suu and one Shinobuu Mahehara."  
  
"What?"  
  
"That's not all some crazy black guy busted through the blockade we made and is in the school now."  
  
"Crazy black guy?"  
  
"Sounds like Smith." Stated Motoko lamely.  
  
"What if that madman kills the girls and my Gunnar?!" Panicked Naru.  
  
"Your Gunnar?"  
  
"Forget that you heard me say that."  
  
"Don't worry about Gunnar, it's the person who took Suu and Shinobuu hostage you need to worry about." Smirked Seta as he walked up towards the group as the policeman left.  
  
"Seta." Greeted Kitsune.  
  
"Seta you've been holding something from us and we want to know what it is!" Shouted Naru.  
  
"Yes...what is your connection to Smith?" Asked Motoko.  
  
"Easy, he's my baby cousin and a pretty good hitman when he was younger."  
  
"Baby cousin?" Said Kitsune.  
  
"Hitman?" Added Keitaro.  
  
"He'll explain it all to you anyways let's just get some bandages ready for Gunnar, knowing him he'll come back with a bunch of wounds." Said Seta.  
  
Back in the school Seta's words were coming true, Gunnar's clothes were ripped in mutliple places and stained in blood since he had to dodge a variety of traps. Growling the young man reached the top floor of the school when he heard a low chuckling ahead of him. Squinting his eyes, Gunnar saw Shinobuu and Suu tied up and laying on the ground as a man towered over them. Recognizing the man, the youth let out a rage filled scream as he ran over to the man with the intent to kill.  
  
"DAMN YOU MANNY!" Seethed Gunnar as he performed a wild haymakeer which the man avoided.  
  
"Ghost my old friend, I though that you would be happy to see me." Said Manny with mock pity.  
  
"I will kill you."  
  
"Heh so the bloodthirst of your hasn't been saitated."  
  
"Oh it has, but I believe that when confronted by assholes like yourself my urge to kill gradually rises."  
  
"Touchy, anyways I'm not here to fight you."  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"Aoki wants you back with the group."  
  
"You can remind that bitch that I will have nothing to do with her anymore." Spat Gunnar.  
  
"You see it's not that simple Ghost, either you return or you start planning funerals." Said Manny as he leveled his guns at Shinobuu and Suu.  
  
"Gunnar!" Cried Shinobuu.  
  
"Please help us Gun-Gun!" Wailed Suu.  
  
"You won't even get a shot off." Stated Gunnar darkly.  
  
"Really?" Said Manny as he blinked once as Gunnar suddenly vanished.  
  
"Really." Growled Gunnar as he reappered behind Manny and kicked him in the back causing him to drop his guns.  
  
"How could you move that fast?"  
  
"Seig Kaiser Assasin Branch Skill Number Ten: Demon Walk, I thought your stupid self would remember that."  
  
"Guess I didn't."  
  
"Don't bother getting up...well you won't be getting up anymore."  
  
"Come on Ghost...I mean Gunnar, Gunnar please don't kill me man I was only kidding!"  
  
"Hmph." Snorted Gunnar as he turned away from Manny and begain to undo the girls' bonds.  
  
"Gun-Gun?" Said Suu.  
  
"Hey don't worry, I'm here and that bastard won't try anything again."  
  
"Gunnar look out!" Shouted Shinobuu as she saw Manny pull out derringer pistol.  
  
"Other part of my job, if you refuse still...DI....! Shouted Manny before a bullet to his forehead silenced him.  
  
"No you die." Said Gunnar as he held out one of the Manny's black six-shooters.  
  
"You killed him...." Muttered Shinobuu as she looked at Gunnar in shock.  
  
"There was no other way to stop him, now let's go now."  
  
"But..." Said Shinobu softly as a tear started to slide down her face.  
  
"Suu take Shinobuu outside first, I'll follow in just a bit okay." Said Gunnar  
  
"Alright, let's go Shinobu."  
  
As the two girls exited the school they were immediatly scooped up by the police and taken to an ambulance where the rest of the Hinata group was waiting. A few minutes later Gunnar exited and was greeted to the sounds of many weapons being armed.  
  
"Wait I didn't do anything!" Pleaded Gunnar.  
  
"Then what do you call this?" Said one policeman who had a full leg cast.  
  
"You brought that on your own damn self."  
  
"Let him go, this guy saved those girls!" Shouted Naru as she broke past the barricade and ran up to Gunnar.  
  
"How would you know?" Asked an officer.  
  
"Would a person who went to go rescue somebody come out all fresh and clean?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Superman would!" Said another cop.  
  
"Yeah!" Agreeded everyone else.  
  
"Does he look like Superman to you?!" Shouted Naru.  
  
"No." Said another.  
  
"Then you will let him go right now and go get the real bad guy who's in the school still!"  
  
"You heard the lady guys, let the boy go and let's go get that..." Said the officer before he was interrupted by Gunnar.  
  
"Don't bother, he's dead. I shot him in self-defense with his own gun when he tried to kill me, so just send in the coroner." Said Gunnar softly as he walked past the startled officer and Naru.  
  
Later on that night, Suu and Shinobuu retold their experience from when they were taken captive by Manny to when Gunnar shot the same man dead without any pity. Everyone who heard were all in shock. As the storytelling was going on, Gunnar, whom was now clean and bandaged, say on top of the roof gazing into the night sky. The assistant manager let a deep sigh loose as he made a descision to leave the Hinata to keep his friends safe just in case somebody else from his past came looking around for him again. Waiting until he was sure that everyone was asleep, Gunnar slipped quietly into his room and began to pack his bags with his belongings. Once he finished Gunnar crept downstairs when he heard somebody at the bottom step.  
  
"You're leaving, aren't you?" Said Naru.  
  
"Yeah, it'd be a lie to say that I didn't enjoy my time here." Said Gunnar as he walked past Naru.  
  
"Don't go."  
  
"What if somebody else from my past came back and tried to pull the same stunt like Manny! Naru...I don't want to see any of you get hurt because of me." Said Gunnar as he dropped his bags.  
  
"Gunnar please stay."  
  
"I can't, are you comfortable knowing that you live with a killer?"  
  
"Listen I don't care about what you do...you're still the same annoying piece of burnt bread that I met all those months ago."  
  
"Naru..I..."  
  
"Please stay...for me." Said Naru as a few tears started to slide down her face.  
  
"For you I'll stay, got it?" Said Gunnar softly as he wiped the tears off of Naru's face.  
  
"Thank you Gunnar." Smiled Naru as she wrapped her arms around Gunnar's neck.  
  
"You're welcome Naru." Said Gunnar as he wrapped his arms around Naru's waist and kissed her.  
  
At the top of the stairs....  
  
"Whoah do ya think they're using their tounges?" Asked Suu in a low voice.  
  
"Looks like it." Whispered Motoko.  
  
"Auu, Naru and Gunnar make a nice couple." Said Shinobu.  
  
"Naru sure does know how to pick the good ones." Said Kitsune.  
  
"Ara, do you think they'll start getting freaky and having kids faster than rabbits?" Asked Mutsumi.  
  
"I wouldn't put it past them." Said Keitaro.  
  
"You know I can hear you guys up there so if you don't want a bullet in your ass you'd better get back to your rooms." Said Gunnar as everyone began to scatter as they heard the cocking of a gun.  
  
"You know that was just wrong." Said Naru.  
  
"Hey, are you gonna talk or are you gonna get back to the kissing?"   
  
"Shut up Toast."   
  
"Cockroach." Chuckled Gunnar as he and Naru resumed their make-out session.  
  
A.N.- So what do ya think? What will happen now that everyone know's Gunnar's past, who is this Aoki, and will there be anymore D.C. superhero references? Well ya just gonna have to wait, even I don't know. ;) 


	14. The Past Will Always Come Back to Bite Y...

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata  
  
Chapter 14: The Past Will Always Come Back to Bite You In the Ass Pt.3  
  
By: Sano-kun  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything from Love Hina, but I lay claim to Gunnar, the now late Manny, Joey, and Aoki (Who will appear later on in the story).  
  
Gunnar and Naru had spent the following weeks together and growning very close. After the assistant manager explained everything in his past about him being a contract killer, they were all a little hesitant to allow him to stay, but with a little 'gentle' persuasion from Naru, everyone gave him him a second chance. Although in the back of Gunnar's mind, he had a nagging feeling that something else was going to pop out of the blue towards him, but he didn't know what.   
  
"Hey Gunnar can you hand me that eraser?" Asked Keitaro as he was working on a math problem from one of his test prep books.  
  
"Sure man...well it looks like you actually got them all right and you reduced everything to the lowest common value. Very good Keitaro, seems like you'll pass that Toudai exam this time eh?" Said Gunnar as he congradulated his friend.  
  
"Yeah with Mutsumi's and Naru's help I'll be ready."  
  
"Well man I'm gonna go..why are you looking in my wallet?" Said Gunnar dryly as he saw Sarah looking at the pictures in his wallet.  
  
"Because I felt like it and who's this bimbo next to you in this picture and who's the brat." Said Sarah as she took out a picture of a younger Gunnar in a pitch black suit holding a small light brown child wrapped in a light yellow blanket standing next to a teenage gril with Motoko's body typewith gray eyes and reddish brown hair with dressed in a light gray dress.  
  
"Nobody you should be concerned about!" Snapped Gunnar as he snatched the wallet and picture away from Sarah and stormed off.  
  
"Geez, sorry I asked."  
  
"What's wrong with him?" Asked a shocked Keitaro.  
  
"The hell should I know?"  
  
Gunnar was now sitting down on the steps of the Hinata while looking at the picture which Sarah had signaled out. A look of longing crossed Gunnar's features as he traced his index finger along the baby in the picture before he tore the picture in half and tossed away the portion with the girl on it. Tucking the picture away in his pocket, Gunnar got up and started to take a walk to clear his mind. As soon as Gunnar had left the inn, a short wrinkled woman wearing a light purple kimono and silver hair placed into a bun got out of a cab which stopped right at the steps of the Hinata. After the woman had exited the cab, a small light brown boy wearing a pair of blue shorts, a bright yellow t-shirt, and black tennis shoes with messy dark brown hair, and light gray eyes stepped out of the cab after her. Once the cabbie removed all the luggage from the back he helped the two up to the Hinata and recieved his fare and left. The old woman and the child walked around in the foyer of the inn, Suu came in with Kitsune who's eyes lit up as the recognized the old woman.  
  
"Granny Hina!"  
  
"Hooray Granny's here!"  
  
"Hello there children, well how have my grandson and his friend been doing?"  
  
"Well as you can see the place is still standing."  
  
"Yep-yep, Keitaro and Gun-Gun are really cool. Hey who's the shrimp?" Asked Suu as the boy hid behind Granny Hina.  
  
"Come now child don't be shy, they're friends of your father." Said Granny Hina.  
  
"We're friends of his father?" Asked Suu.  
  
"We know this kids dad?" Said Kitsune.  
  
"Yes, his father is Gunnar." Answered Granny Hina as the boy stepped from behind her.  
  
"Gunnar has a kid already, boy is Naru gonna be fired up once she hears this." Said Suu.  
  
"So what's your name kiddo?" Said Kitsune as she kneeled down to eye level with the kid.  
  
"Joey." Said the boy.  
  
"That's a nice name, how old are you?"  
  
"This much." Said Joey as he held out four fingers.  
  
"So that must mean Gun-Gun had to have been at least fifteen when he had him right Kitsune?" Said Suu.  
  
"Yep, but the main question is why Gunnar wouldn't want for us to know he had a kid?"  
  
"Maybe the same reason why he didn't tell us he was a hitman?"  
  
"That has to be it."  
  
"It is?"  
  
"For being the resident genius you're really dense."  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Calm down now children, now won't you two help me and Joey to a room now won't you?" Said Granny Hina.  
  
"Alright."  
  
"Hey has anyone seen..Granny!" Said Naru happily as she walked in on the group.  
  
"Hello Narusegawa, it is good to see you again." Smiled Granny Hina.  
  
"It is but who's the kid?"   
  
"That's GUMUMPH!" Exclaimed Suu as her mouth was stuffed with Kitsune's house slipper.  
  
"He's one of those orphan children that you see on those Christian Children Fund commercials." Lied Kitsune as she dragged Suu away while Granny Hina followed them.  
  
"Well that was odd, so what's your name?" Asked Naru.  
  
"Joey." Said Joey.  
  
"My name is Naru, and its nice to meet you Joey."  
  
"You're nice."  
  
"Well you're a little cutie you know that." Smiled Naru as she lifted up Joey and began to tickle him.  
  
"Hey that tickles."  
  
"Why don't you come with me and we'll get something to eat?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
Later on that night, everyone minus Gunnar were sitting at the dining table eating dinner.  
  
"So Joey is the food good?" Asked Naru as the boy only nodded vigorously.  
  
"Where's Smith at, he's been gone all day?" Asked Motoko.  
  
"I don't know but he snapped at Sarah earlier when she was looking through his wallet." Said Keitaro.  
  
"He did?" Said Shinobu.  
  
"Yeah, the dork got his draws in a bunch when I took out some picture of him holding a baby while some skanky looking girl was standing next to him." Said Sarah.  
  
"It could've probably been a picture of him, his child, and his mistress." Said Mutsumi as Kitsune, Suu, and Granny Hina all fell over in shock.  
  
"Like Gunnar would have the stones to get a girl pregnant."  
  
"You have no idea." Muttered Kitsune.  
  
"What was that?" Asked Shinobu.  
  
"Oh nothing at all really, just wait till Gunnar gets back and you'll see."  
  
"Kitsune what is it that you're not telling us?" Asked Keitaro.  
  
"Oh come on what could I know?"  
  
"Yo I hope you guys saved some food for...me." Said Gunnar as he walked into the dining room and his eyes locked onto to Joey.   
  
"DADDY!" Yelled Joey as he ran over to Gunnar.  
  
"Hey there Jo, how have you been?" Smiled Gunnar as he lifted Joey into the air and spun him around.  
  
"Fine. I missed you Daddy."  
  
"I missed you also, I'm sorry I couldn't come and see you as often as I wanted."  
  
"Gunnar why did that child call you Daddy?" Asked Motoko.  
  
"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out Motoko, he's my son."  
  
"That means that brat you were holding in that picture was Joey but who was the slut?" Said Sarah.  
  
"First off Joey isn't a brat and secondly you can insult that bitch from the picture all you want."  
  
"Gunnar explain everything NOW!" Seethed Naru.  
  
"Calm down Naru-sempai I'm sure Gunnar had a good explanation why he has a child already." Said Shinobu as she, Suu, and Mutsumi held her back.  
  
"For his sakes it had better be."  
  
"Ya know it's been a long time since I saw my kid and we have alot of father-son bonding to do." Said Gunnar as he started to back away slowly.  
  
"Take one more step and you will never have anymore children." Said Motoko as she held her sword's blade in between Gunnar's legs.  
  
"Point well taken."  
  
"Start talking."  
  
"Alright, well it all happened back around when I first started out as a hitman, I was working for this guy named Hoshi and I was getting paid well. So one day I was announcing that I was quitting and it seemed like Hoshi didn't want for his number one killer to go so easily so he threw me a party."  
  
"A party, of all the things he could've done he threw you a party?" Said Sarah skeptically.  
  
"Shut up, anyways the bastard introduced me to his daughter Aoki, or as Sarah likes to call her Slut. After he introduced us the drinks started flowing and lo and behold I got tanked off my ass and the next morning I found myself buck naked with Aoki next to me while Hoshi and a few of the other guys were standing at the door laughing. Thinking it was all a big prank I left and a month later while living a normal life I get a call from Hoshi to meet him for just a friendly talk so I agreed. That's when he told me about Aoki being pregnant and that if I didn't come back to work for him then he'd have Aoki get an abortion, killing the unborn child."  
  
"Whoah so what did you do Gun-Gun?" Interrupted Suu.  
  
"As you can see Suu the kid is now hanging off of his neck for dear life." Pointed out Keitaro dryly.  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"As I was saying, I went back to being a hitman and racking up more kills than a Rambo movie when Joey was born. I was estatic as hell to see him but Aoki and Hoshi didn't share my view. To Hoshi, Joey was nothing but a bargining chip to get me to do whatever he wanted and Aoki just saw him as a hinderance. After Joey turned two, I faked our deaths perfectly and we left the country and moved in back with my folks in America." Continued Gunnar.  
  
"Wait a minute if your parents were living in America then where were you staying out here?" Asked Sarah.  
  
"Remember Seta's my cousin and the nutcase didn't live in that van of his until he was twenty-two."  
  
"Guess I forgot."  
  
"Moron."  
  
"Quite you."  
  
"So Naru are you going to try and send Gunnar into orbit now?"  
  
"Only if he has anymore kids and ex's waiting in the wing." Said Naru.  
  
"I have no more, this one the only one."  
  
"For the time being." Smirked Granny Hina.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Auu you don't mean that Naru-sempai is pregnant now?" Said Shinobu.  
  
"She isn't pregnant Shinobu, if she was she'd look like a hippo with a gland problem." Said Gunnar as Naru started to growl with anger, again.  
  
"Hey Gunnar can I hold Joey?" Asked Mutsumi.  
  
"Sure." Said Gunnar as he handed Joey over to Mutsumi.  
  
"Joey I want you to listen carefully never put your foot in your mouth like your daddy or else this'll happen, alright?" Explained Mutsumi as Naru hit Gunnar through the walls.  
  
"Wow...Naru-Mama hits hard." Said Joey in awe. 


	15. Briefing: Operation Shopping

Guns, Knives, and the Hinata Chapter 15: Briefing: Operation Shopping By: Sano-kun Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda...don't own this. Lay claim to Gunnar and Joey.  
  
A.N.- Sorry for the long delay between updates seeing as how my comp decided to crash and die every time even after I fixed it. The rest of my stories should be updated later on this week or the next.  
  
Life at the Hinata Inn had become interesting to say the least with the entrance of Joey into the residences lives. Right now it was December and the resident ronins were at the moment doing a light review over their upcoming examinations for Tokyo U. While the trio was studying, Shinobu was preparing food for the residents while Joey sat on the counter and watched her work with Tama-chan resting on his head, Sarah and Suu were busy exploring the secret passages of the Hinata while Motoko and Gunnar were talking about each others fighting techniques.  
  
"So you're saying that your assassin skills were derived from Iga Ninjutsu?" Asked Motoko as she walked besides Gunnar whom was currently tugging on some bandages on his fists.  
  
"More or less." Said Gunnar.  
  
"So what are the other skills of your school?"  
  
"My schools techniques are elemental attacks and moves that are intended for a quick kill during assassination attempts."  
  
"Doesn't Seta use your fighting style?"  
  
"He does but his is the Ogre Branch."  
  
"Ogre Branch?"  
  
"His is more suited to overpowering hand-to-hand combat while I use speed to get up on people."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"Heyas Gun-Gun!" Cheered Suu as she popped up from and opening in the floor and hit Gunnar with a hurricane kick.  
  
"Yo cuz." Drawled Sarah as she climbed out of the hole.  
  
"Ugh...why must it be a hurricane kick?" Groaned Gunnar.  
  
"Because I used a butterfly kick on you this morning, and then I used a dropkick followed by a Mecha-Tama assault on ya three hours ago." Said Suu.  
  
"You're insane."  
  
"Ain't it the truth?" Said Sarah.  
  
"Ugh, I'm gonna go see Naru now."  
  
"So ya can get some hot nookie?" Asked Suu.  
  
"SUU!" Exclaimed Gunnar.  
  
"What with all the noises that you guys make I'm shocked at how just about everybody in this place can sleep." Lied Sarah as a sly grin crept on her face.  
  
"Smith....." Said Motoko darkly.  
  
"Well what do you know, I think Joey's calling, bye-bye." Said Gunnar as he ran away.  
  
"Get back here damnit!"  
  
"Cadet, Mission Complete." Smirked Sarah.  
  
"Sir, yes sir!" Said Suu as she saluted.  
  
-In the kitchen-  
  
"Aunty Shinobu whatcha makin?" Asked Joey as he looked up at Shinobu.  
  
"I'm making Shrimp Tempura." Said Shinobu.  
  
"Tim-pura?"  
  
"Close enough, here's one that's already done but be careful it still a bit hot."  
  
"This is really good, much better than Naru-mama's rice balls."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Myuh." Said Tama-chan as she flew into the kitchen and landed on Joey's left shoulder.  
  
"Ya want something ta eat also Tama-chan?"  
  
"Myuh."  
  
"Here." Said Joeyas he took some of the breading off of his shrimp and fed it to Tama-chan.  
  
"Joey could you go and tell everyone that dinner will be ready shortly?" Asked Shinobu.  
  
"Okay Aunty Shinobu."  
  
-Keitaro's room-  
  
"This exam's gonna be a breeze!" Exclaimed Keitaro.  
  
"That's what you said last year." Said Naru.  
  
"Well last year was a fluke, but now I'm positive that I'll pass for sure."  
  
"Uh-huh."  
  
"Come in." Said Keitaro as he heard someone knocking on the door.  
  
"Naru-mama, Aunty Mutsu, Unca Kei dinner's gonna be done soon." Said Joey as he walked into the room.  
  
"Okay Joey."  
  
"Naru-mama are you gonna pass tha test?" Said Joey as he climbed into Naru's lap.  
  
"I will Joey." Smiled Naru as she ruffled the boy's hair.  
  
"Kay cuz Unca Hai-Hai said somtin about Daddy puttin' whipped cream and chocolate on ya and getting down if ya pass when he was talkin wit Unca Kei and Unca Shirai and Daddy on Sunday."  
  
"Oh really?" Said Naru as she cracked her knuckles while casting a glance at Keitaro.  
  
"Ara, ara Naru no need to be all violent now." Said Mutsumi.  
  
"You're right...but I will get the four of you back for this later."  
  
"Ugh...need medical attention..." Gasped Gunnar as he dragged himself into the room.  
  
"Gunnar what happened?" Asked Keitaro.  
  
"What else either it was Suu or Motoko." Deadpanned Naru.  
  
"Motoko." Pointed out Mutsumi as the swordswoman charged into the room.  
  
"Smith!" Yelled Motoko as she raised her sword above her head.  
  
"Aunty Toko!" Cheered Joey.  
  
"Muyh!" Greeted Tama-chan as she flew in front of Motoko.  
  
"AUGGH DEMON TURTLE!"  
  
"Muyh?"  
  
"I'm confused Daddy." Said Joey as he cocked his head to the side.  
  
"Don't worry Joey, all women are confusing when they get older just look at Mutsumi." Said Gunnar before a aura of immense anger washed over him.  
  
"Would you like to repeat that?" Said Mutsumi darkly as Gunnar nearly pissed his pants.  
  
"No."  
  
"Okay." Beamed Mutsumi as her bubbly persona replaced her previous pissed self.  
  
"Boy Mutsumi is scary when she's irritated." Gulped Keitaro.  
  
"It seems as though Gunnar has the uncanny ability to piss people off." Said Naru.  
  
"I'm pretty sure he'd make Jesus want to backhand him every now and then."  
  
"Actually I don't doubt you two on that one." Chuckled Gunnar.  
  
"Ara, ara I think we should go now, looks like......" Trailed off Mutsumi as she fell down.  
  
"Hey Gunnar can you help me get her downstairs?" Asked Keitaro.  
  
"Sorry Keitaro but he has his hands full." Teased Naru as she leapt into Gunnar's arms and stuck out her tongue.  
  
"Buck up Bro, it'll be good muscle building for you seeing as how she carries around fifty pounds in each boob." Smirked Gunnar.  
  
"Gunnar!" Yelled Naru as she pinched Gunnar's neck.  
  
"What? Hey! Ouch that was my clavicle!"  
  
"Moron your clavicle was nowhere near there!" Shouted Naru as she and Gunnar left the room.  
  
"Daddy and Naru-mama are weird right Unca Kei?" Asked Joey as he looked up at Keitaro.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"What did I miss?" Asked Mutsumi.  
  
"Nothing special"  
  
At the dinner table things were progressing nicely with the pseudo family. In other words Keitaro and Gunnar weren't being belted out through the roof but instead receiving a few slaps to the back of the neck.  
  
"Hey Shinobu this is pretty good." Said Gunnar.  
  
"Thanks." Said Shinobu.  
  
"Much better than somebody's rice balls and curry." Said Keitaro before he was hit with a tea cup.  
  
"You guys finished Christmas shopping yet?" Asked Sarah while looking at Keitaro and Gunnar.  
  
"Almost." Replied the two men.  
  
"In other words you two didn't even do a lick of shopping huh?" Said Kitsune.  
  
"More or less." Said Gunnar.  
  
"Well boys you don't want us women and lone child to be disappointed on Christmas morning now do you?"  
  
"No..well you see...." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Then get out there and get shopping!" Shouted all the women save Shinobu and Mutsumi as the two men were thrown out of the house with their shoes, jackets, and wallets.  
  
"Women." Said Keitaro.  
  
"Don't start, last time you said something like that Motoko beat you down with a whiffle bat." Said Gunnar.  
  
"Don't remind me...so now we must go and get these damn presents so they won't kill us." Sighed Keitaro as he put on his jacket and shoes.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah....damn I hate shopping." Muttered Gunnar as he followed Keitaro. 


	16. notice

Notice!  
  
Okay folks after having this fanfiction account for awhile I'm here to let you all know that of this moment on...nothing's gonna be updated, I'm dropping this screen name. But I'm teaming up with my pal Dead83 for a partnership under the name of Sano-Dead83. All my stories are gonna be moved under that name. So that's it folks. 


End file.
